Musings... It takes years to show consistency and earn the respect and admiration of a community, this is not something that can be explained or told to someone in a way that can be trusted. It must be tested, a person will be pushed. Respect, consistency and reliability take time to demonstrate and prove. Without reinforcement from others, there is a loss of self importance, a recalibration ones place in the world. When traveling through places where appearances are everything there is no equal footing unless you are of that place. Some call it racism, others call it prejudice but, mostly its cultural norm, a way of control, status, and ultimately its at the base of all xenophobia. The outsider is left to grasp at language and formalities, to mimic and mime, to attempt to find a common ground from which to convey ideas. Language is but one piece of the cultural mosaic. Body language and way of dress, facial expressions and vocal intonation when conversing are the nuances that pepper any interaction. Tone of voice is not similarly inflected as some languages use tones as pronunciation and some tones of the same syllable will change the word and its meaning entirely. This is one of the main challenges of Asian languages 7, from my own experience. One of the greatest challenges is to find ways to genuinely convey respect in my curiosity, I am not traveling to merely consume culture or experiences I am here to form connection and learn through observation and exploration, respect is of utmost concern to me. In practice, however, its not always reciprocal. There is a natural process of humility in travel, sometimes gentle and sometimes forcefully, layers of self are stripped away. Former definitions which form the basis of identity are challenged and often broken. Ones own traditions or rituals are challenged and, at times, forced to be modified. These modifications may change the personality and how it functions in ones native society, it can change ones own perception and orientation of self. Some of these changes are temporary until one reintegrates back into their home culture and others remain forever as a form of liberation. Like a tattoo on the psyche, brandishing the glimpse of a larger world view. I see this in the eyes of many older travelers, as they witnessed the changes of globalization and its effect on various cultures, like keepers of a lighthouse, theyve seen the loss and rescue of many through the fog of time. I dont envy all of their wisdom, loss is a pain all too familiar. Becoming objective is a task like no other, it takes intellectual, spiritual, emotional, and psychological work to find neutrality and freedom from opinion. Remaining objective about ones own subjectivity is the most challenging of all paradigms, vigilance and constant correction of attachments and habits of thinking make up most of this exercise. Often lazy moments of being in auto pilot will catch me off guard and the result is discomfort and slight disorientation. This is experienced as disdain or contempt, criticism or judgement, it can be as sneaky as emotional states like sadness or disgust. All of these states are a reflection of my attachment to the way Ive learned to do things. This is imperialism in disguise of pain avoidance and the seeking of comfort. There are so many layers to the experience of leaving home. Going alone is most important to this process as its an entirely different case when accompanied by others. When with others there is less silence and time to process and observe the mind and its patterns. When with others there tends to be a lot of exchanging of opinions and levels of comfort, this is only the most superficial layer of the experience, the real jewels remain uncovered if events are processed too soon and in this way. The more I practice this meditation the more value I find in silence and the pause between opinions. When opinions arise I like to take them and examine them. Where do they come from? How do they form? From where does the grasping form and what is it holding onto? The ego is the bedrock of these patterns but the layers between ego and personality are juicy with stories and beliefs and thats where I find the blocks which can be removed. Who do I think I am. Who I believe myself to be. What do I think I want. What do I believe I can achieve. The things I hold against myself and others. The suffering of time and the scars left upon the thin skin of self. Like splinters from smoothing the surface of my mind, working the wood, whittling time and its effects upon my mind. Im carving concepts and burning them down. Prayers are sent up in smoke of their incineration. Each fire burning down the old self. In its place a dance of light that plays at the beginnings of a future not yet formed. Anything is possible when all is let go.
Posted on: Sat, 17 May 2014 05:44:47 +0000
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