My Hero, My Captain. I met Robin Williams that evening of the fundraiser because I was the Administrative Assistant to the Pastor, Rev. Douglass Fitch at Glide Memorial Church in San Francisco. It was an amazing benefit and Robin was outstanding, funny yet so sincere, gentlemen. I was terribly taken back with the news of his death. For I too suffer with depression due to bipolar and addiction issues. This event really has me thinking about my own sobriety program and mental health problems. Ive gotten complaiced with my program. Rarely attend AA mtgs, not contacting my sponsor, or attending service positions/mtgs. Nor seeing my therapist and not attending chuch, my spiritual foundation. I tend to think I can do this on my own but through my experience, Ive proven myself wrong at many attempts and have failed. I really wish it wasnt Robins death that has me feeling this way or any other persons tragic end of life. Its soon to be my 12th year of sobriety on Sept 5th through the grace of my Higher Power, AA mtgs and AA members. So you would think I should know better but sometimes life takes you to a place of unknown territory and Ive become to live in fear again. This past year has been very difficult for me dealing with health issues, living with family back home and financial problems that my wellbeing has become the back seat. For I am only a passenger with God as my driver and right now there is no one driving. I know thats not a way of life. Ive come to believe Im mostly afraid of dying for this is the third time Ive been faced with death. I want to be in control and end my misery just the way Robin did but I know that is not the way it has to be. There is hope! I found that HOPE a few times and know where to find it again. I wish Robin wouldnt have ended his brilliant life for he is an amazing human being but humbly I will honor his life and death by knowing that I have a different choice as well. His tragic ending proves that we all are common people trying to live in todays difficult world and its not easy even when you are a bright star. For all of you who identify with me and Robin, there is hope and help out there if you become desperate enough to do some thing about it. Its never to late and we all deserve a chance to a better life even if you dont think you deserve it. Its all part of the journey. Thank you Robin for being my favorite entertainer but along with that you have become one of my greatest teachers. You have reminded me to join the living and that I dont have to live in fear for all I have to do is have faith and walk through what ever life throws at you one day at a time. I will deeply miss you for you have become a humble example and a valuable gift in my life today. In your honor and with my Higher Power. .....heres to a better way of living life meaningful and to abundance! You will always be my shining star. Be with God and rest in peace. Ed
Posted on: Sat, 23 Aug 2014 02:23:12 +0000
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