My World By Fran Lewis If my Mom could tell you about her world: In my world everything stays the same I see your face but cannot recall your name You have been in my life for many years But, when you look at me why so many tears? I am still here and I am glad you came to see me Don’t worry about what I say or do I can’t help it you see My world stays the same and the days run into each other you know I get up and they feed me and then I watch television with the aides but their favorite show I eat when they feed me and then I sleep on my chair I will not sleep in a bed my habits won’t change this I share My world revolves around decisions made by others I know There is nothing I can do about it but hope for the best before I go My world is so dull but I am glad that I am here I may not understand you but I still make a difference and I have a fear That someday I will get worse before I can tell you how I feel So, understand that I am grateful for everything and to you I appeal Work hard as you have done to help find a cure to me For others who have this illness and whose voices cannot be heard you see We are the ones who have been dealt a hand that nobody wants or needs It is a hand that you get whether you have done good or bad deeds My world is my own and no one can take that from me No one can see into my heart and learn how sad I can be But if you look into my eyes you will know what I feel That if there is a miracle from God to him I do appeal Find the source of my weakness and the reason my mind has gone Find a medicine or cure that will let me be restored before I am too far-gone My world begins and ends with the same thing each day Someone comes into my home and cleans me and feeds me in her own way My world changed without notice and I had no control of it I know It is a world filled with no hope and no future where I sustained a hard blow Although I have a hard time expressing my feeling to you Remember my heart is yours and I love you through and through. Dedicated to my mom, Ruth Swerdloff If she could tell you about her world these are the words she would express. I spoke at an organization that she belonged to on Novemeber1. I spoke about her and her journey with Alzheimer’s and what it has done to her life, her mind and her soul. I spoke about the disease and all that I have done to make sure that she gets the care at home that she needs and deserves. I spoke to her friends. It was sad. I told them how sorry I was that no one wanted to come and see her and how she would love to see a familiar face. They understood but the fear of seeing my mom now frightens these people who feel that this disease can and might strike them too. To everyone out there with a loved one who has this awful illness: Visit him or her or just call him or her on the phone and let him or her hear your voice. They may not answer you but they will know you love them and hear your voice. My sister and my brother call my mom everyday. She might not answer but she smiles when she hears a familiar voice. Today a dear friend of my mother called and told me she read my Alzheimer’s book. I gave her an author’s copy to read. She told me she was going to share this book with everyone in her complex and added to the library in her community. I am so proud. Help me fight for a cure. To make my point even more, imagine this: Today is the first day of the nightmare, which is my life. I woke up and the sun was shining so I thought I would go food shopping. I went into the kitchen and found my car keys on top of the microwave. I don’t remember putting there. Going to the supermarket is really routine expect today I wound up getting lost. When I got to street that I thought the market was on it wasn’t there. So, I turned around and headed for home. Thinking that the market might have gone out of business I decided I would call the corner grocery store and ask them to deliver what I needed. But, things went from bad to worse. Riding along in my car I began looking at the houses in the area and the cars in the driveways and did not recognize any of them. What color is the front of my house? What’s my address? I started to panic because in all honesty I could not remember the answers to either question. Even worse I was in someone else’s car. How, I don’t know. But, what I do remember is going to the doctor the previous week and having him tell me that I might have a slight memory loss but not to worry. It could just be an aging problem. But, now I am beginning to wonder if he was right or if he was just sugarcoating what was about to become my new life. Panic began to set in. I could not even find my cell phone and hoped to find a pay phone on the street in order to call someone for help. Riding around in circles, not begin able to find any familiar landmarks I finally pulled over and started to cry. The feeling of helplessness, despair and loneliness set in and what was worse I could not remember why I was in my car or even where I was going. Alzheimer’s is deadly. There is no cure and at this point no one really knows what causes it. As time went on my mind drifted off and I started to live within myself and could not express my inner most thoughts to anyone. At times I would stare at people that I knew and tried really hard to place them or remember their names. This is a cause that many are passionate about. Help find the cure and remember: if you have a family member with this illness be patient, kind and understanding. There are times they will smile when you walk into the room and might even say your name. There are times they will look at you and wonder why you are there. This is their World. Fran Lewis
Posted on: Fri, 20 Sep 2013 11:55:49 +0000
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