My dad was a gun and knife guy and i think that his whole life he never went anywhere without a pocket knife.in 1976 him and my mom picked me up at the San Francisco airport and he told me about some scroungy looking guy who was sitting next to them earlier and as he reached into his pocket for his knife,just in case he needed to defend himself to his horror it was gone.this was a special pocket knife that he was given by someone he really respected our paster Arza Brown,when we got home he found it between the car seats and he held onto that knife still he died,now i have it.my mom worked as a switchboard operator up until a few days before i was born and never worked again until we were in high school.when she left that job she was given a jack that she would plug into the switchboard to connect a call and she had a hole drilled into it and it was on her keychain my entire life until she was gone and now its on my keychain and some day when Im gone my daughter will put it on her keychain.after Bruce was gone i used to carry his ID around in my wallet until one day i realized that if i ever lost my wallet it would be gone so i put it into a iPhone box along with every piece of ID or card he ever had and its on my night stand next to my bed.i dont often wear a watch even though i have four of them but when i do i wear his.Bruce had a lot of cloths including pants and i tried on every pair and finally found two pairs that had been to short for him but didnt look super long on me.the same thing happened with his shoes and the pairs that are to big for me i just lace them up as tight as i can and wear them anyways.his name is inked onto my arm and hes always on my mind and in my heart.tomorrow marks the day before his 25th birthday and for some reason the day before seems harder than the actual day,its been in the back of my mind all month but as it draws nearer it just feels more fresh.i decided last year and for every year for now on to set this and may 21st aside as a day that i dont plan anything because i still dont know how Im going to react to it and even now writing about it puts tears in my eyes.I cant wait for the day that all the tears are dried up and i see him again.
Posted on: Sun, 20 Apr 2014 23:13:05 +0000
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