My experience of the spiritual deepening retreat. Its my first morning back home after attending a 6 day Spiritual Deepening womans retreat at niche. I feel an amazing sense of peace happiness, and love within me. A feeling of self acceptance for who I am, a feeling for not being sorry for that. I feel renewed, happy and with a sense of purpose. An acceptance of being ok with who I am, of being real, without fear of judgement from others or myself. Well maybe a teeny bit lurks, but I know now its just the mind, the ego, trying to protect me, a survival instinct, and I tell it its ok, I thank it but continue anyway. Its hard to put into words the experience Ive just had. Its almost like mere words cant cut it fully, but Ill try. My experience of the retreat was a coming together of women, in a beautiful relaxing safe loving environment. Through processes, I let go of past experiences, issues, hurts, that held me back in experiencing who I really am now. I spent the time with other remarkable beautiful strong women, ones that hold a special place in my heart, for their compassion, honesty , non judgement and love. I bared my soul, to each, hurts, struggles, of the past. I experienced laughter and tears, anger and joy. I meditated, i danced. I was nourished with love, from these women, from spirit. I experienced beautiful nourishing vegetarian food, and spent time in nature, and with myself. I healed. I let go of hurts , fear, resentments , anger and allowed in love, spirit, my higher purpose, and the real me that I shielded from others due to fear of judgement. I let go of being sorry, for existing. I found once I let go of past hurts, I began to heal. The pain I was experiencing began to fade. I find it amazing that my physical pain at the time left me once I worked on issues I didnt even know I still held onto. Yesterday when I returned, While doing groceries, I caught myself saying sorry twice, when I really didnt need to be, I actually had done nothing wrong at the time. It was a reflex action, habit , but I saw it for what it was. I realise its a process and will take time to retrain my ego mind. Awareness is power. I became aware while in processes at the retreat ( workshops ) that a lot that I held onto was not needed anymore. It didnt serve me. I found it amazing that I still held onto so much that wasnt real. Dont get me wrong, at the time, in my past, it was very real, but now I see its not true as in I dont need to keep reliving that pain. I realised by holding onto it, I kept that pain alive in my body, in my mind. Ive learnt ways to release anger and frustration that come up, ways to check in with myself, to see if something is not true,. Ive discovered that through dance, movement ( stomping to beats ) i can release physically anything that Im holding onto, and its actually fun! I love dancing, stomping to drum beats or similar, to shake it out. ie when angry but also when not. Ive a feeling I must of had a past life in a tribe :) for the stomping or dancing to tribal sounds comes naturally and I love it! I relaxed and spent time in nature among the birds and trees, in the sun. I loved standing outside in the wind and letting it blow all the past away but also feeling the power and beauty of it. ( even though it cut our power for 2 days! My guides tell me that was a good thing to be without electronics lol ) I thank all the women, I spent this time with, my teacher included, for they all shared. They hold a special place in my heart, a bond, for all they all brought to me, for all they gave of themselves, for their honesty, courage, resilience, strength, wisdom, their love, and laughter, as they allowed the space for me to be that also. They truely are amazing , beautiful strong women. I have so much love and greatest respect for them all. I came away from retreat knowing I can achieve anything, that I am strong enough, worthwhile and I dont need to feel sorry for that. I can now begin to live life, among family and friends, and be real with them. I discovered a beautiful song that expresses this well. I am strong , I am invincible, I am woman. youtu.be/V6fHTyVmYp4
Posted on: Fri, 03 Oct 2014 02:19:28 +0000
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