My friend and school mate, FrDavid Hasser shared this. It has good advice to men. However, it has a flaw, and a brave single lady named Lindsay acknowledged it in her comment within. So Im also reposting my response to her. ‘Lindsay, Im glad you said this. When I clicked the link to this I actually thought (what was I thinking?!) itd be about married men taking and using the gifts they have of solid, stable family life and using that to safely affirm the single women they work with. Instead, it was nearly the opposite. Now, I realize that this was written for the men, and this is to try to help them when they are tempted to let their minds wander wrongly, but it comes at the cost of implying that single women (who are often serious fans of virtue and fidelity in men because they long for that someday in their lives) are dangerous, even if just to the mans mind. My first thought was, I want to write a blog post on this, not disagreeing with the instructions but to say, Yes, get your head on right, talk up your wife and kids, show you are stable, and then be free, stable, and generous enough to affirm and love these women who already perhaps suffer loneliness, feeling left behind, or cut out of the circles of the married. That can be done chastely. The men I know who most possess a familial love are the ones most likely to let others feel that too. Frankly, my experience in marriage counseling has been that more often its two married people commiserating about the trials of spouse and family that is the spark and powder keg of mental (and other) infidelity. The single woman doesnt need to be treated as a waiting-in-the-wings home wrecker. She needs to be affirmed that just because she isnt married yet doesnt mean shes unlovable, dangerous, or a social reject. And if a man cant do that yet because of his own weakness, fine. Get your act together now, but dont drive single women down because you havent figured out how to a *publicly* married man yet.’
Posted on: Fri, 28 Mar 2014 22:03:59 +0000
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