My informant at FOX News tells me Rush Limbaugh and Rupert Murdoch have recently had several closed door meetings. Rush is upset and has declared that since the implementation of the ACA, America is almost uninhabitable. Thus, he will announce early next week he plans to make good on his promise to move to Costa Rica in early Feb. Dont panic! The move will be for the good of everyone. Rush will continue to broadcast his show on FOX News. Rush & Rupert have concluded the small tropical democratic country of Costa Rica is ripe virgin territory ready for plucking, and since the country is a democracy, officials can be bought. The two have a three-pronged plan for saving the country from Socialism and possibly Communism. First, Rupert will buy up all the media. Once he owns the press, radio, and TV, he will own the minds of the people and soon convince them they can do better. Second, they will privatize the banks. Bankers will go along with this because the bought politicians and the media say its good, and bankers are by their genetic make-up universally greedy. Third, they will launch a program to make health care profitable. After the medical professionals see how much money banks are making, they will follow the money. Accountants for Rush & Rupert estimate that within the year, the two will have investments which will have earned them several billion dollars with a high ceiling for additional growth. A victory for Capitalism. On Jan. 1, 2016, Rush plans to stand on the steps of The Gold Rush Bank smoking a big cigar and unfurl a banner proclaiming MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Posted on: Thu, 15 Jan 2015 15:30:33 +0000