My mental problem. In order to explain who I will be, I must explain who I was once. I was born in Honduras on November 24, 1998. My parents separated after my 6 months of birth. I grew up with my grandparents and my cousins. My parents were not around that much since they were always working, but let me share something to you, they came from a poor family, and became someone in life. My mom and dad graduated from a university, my dad as a professor and chemical engineer, and my mom as a lawyer who worked for the court of justice for 15 years. I have been studying English since I had step foot in kindergarten when I was 4. I use to go to Saint John’s in Honduras, a private school. I always got bullied because I was weird and poor. Apparently, the children would find you socially acceptable depending on how much money your parents made, otherwise you were considered a freak. My mom didn’t pay for my school, but my dad did. Even though my mom had a good paying job, she could not afford the school, so my dad told her he was going to pay for it. You see, I never had a good relationship with my parents. My dad only gave me money, but never his time. My mom was almost the same, she gave me love, but she never had time for me. Even so, I had my grandparents and cousins, more importantly, the woods. The woods were my favorite place, I use to contemplate nature, and think. Yes, think big and because of my thinking my mom took me to a psychologist; the teacher had told her that I was way too advanced for my current classes. I thought different, I was different. The psychologist concluded that I was gifted. Over the years, I started developing talents and they were: dancing, singing, and drawing. Thanks to that, I won a lot of talent shows and drawing competitions, I have never received a trophy because my teacher will always take them away saying they were for the class, which for me was not like that. I had worked really hard for them, why would I want to share it with those kids, and the only thing they did was bother me. I never said a thing. I just dealt with it without saying a word. My mom never knew about that and the bullying, at least not until I came to the U.S. If I was still in Honduras, I would probably still go to church every weekend with my grandmother, she would say to me, In order to be good, you must go the church, so as the well-mannered child I was, I did. I would draw, sing, and dance more than I do now. I would still work for some agency of kid reporters, maybe make commercials and such. I would try to be friends with the rich kids, play in the woods, break some bones like I always did, and be the only one to blame when someone got hurt in the woods because of my crazy ideas of climbing trees and throwing myself from the rock at the peek of the river near my grandmother’s house- sarcasm-. I would be helping my grandma organize church activities. I would still have competitions with my cousin, for example, Who got the Better Grades, like we always did, and I always won. Id also be waiting for my mom to pick me up from my grandmothers house so I could run to hug her and tell her how much I miss her; the night was the only time I could see her, and my dad once a month, when I got sick or whatever he felt like visiting me. Id be playing sports outside with the neighbors, and learn how to do new things together, like the first time I rode a bicycle, it was with them, not my parents, not my grandparents, but my neighbor, my friends. Graduate from school with honors, go to college, and lived the good life because now that I think about it, it didn’t matter how broken I could be, I was always able to see things in a positive way, life wasnt that ugly and horrible after all. Remember how I told you I was always thinking in the first part of my writing? Well my thinking was this: In order to see life in a good way, all I need to do was to be positive and strong, even though I have a lot against it. People who don’t have anything against life, and think its the best are because they have not been through the rough road. I did have a lot against it, tons of things I would yell at it, if it was a person, but as I always did and still do, I smiled ignoring the fact I was having a really tough time in school, with the rich kids, with my parents, with my life . I was able to understand that life could be unfair, so what I must do is the juice out of it, the sweet parts, , but is still hurts, I have problems , I got to the social worker twice a month, I am not mentally stable, I suffer from depression because of the events that had happened to me and the one that affect me the most is the absence of my dad and moving away. I am scared of losing the little things I have , the only reason why I don’t have friends is because I am tired of moving away and starting all over again to lose it. I had move 9 times in my whole life and I always end up losing. When I moved to the United States, my grades began dropping, I was bullied because I didn’t know English, and I was alone more than ever. My mom was with me, but it was just me and her and no one else. Her plus jobs, equals me alone, I isolated myself from the world and started playing games, became obsessed with them because they gave me the happiness I didn’t have. But if it wasn’t for those bad and difficult parts of my life, I would not be this person you see right now. Its those experiences that make us, us. They define who we are, and I’m happy with myself, just the way I am. I still have a lot to live for, i still have a lot to learn, and I have a lot of time for improvement. I still have time to get better and I will do so.
Posted on: Sun, 06 Apr 2014 02:38:37 +0000
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