My morning today was rough. Im not proud of this but I need coffee in the morning to function. There is no way that I can walk cows in from pasture without caffeine in my system. So every morning, before bringing in the cows for morning milking, I always head to my folks farmhouse for coffee. (And because my daddy turns the coffee pot on at like, 4AM so its always ready really early. Its like a farm house Starbucks except that my daddy doesnt do Tall, Soy Latte With An Extra Shot And Cream. And at the coffee counter, he is never smiling and chipper in the mornings. Also remember? We dont keep food at our house because we eat at my parents house all the time. That includes coffee. Plus, it keeps the rats down not to have food at our house. Ummm...for once, Im not kidding. And it totally saves me money if I dont have to buy the coffee. My momma spends my brothers inheritance on my coffee intake. This is my rationality for not making coffee in my own house. Truth is...it basically boils down to I am much too lazy to make my own coffee.) Anyway, upon entering my folks farm house, the coffee was brewed and ready for consumption. I poured a cup for myself, went to the fridge for milk only to find that there was not one drop of milk in our fridge. You have got to be kidding me? We freakin milk cows, for Gods sake. Not one drop of milk in the house. I cant drink coffee without milk. Just cant do it. What could I do? I had to suck it up and bring the cows in without my coffee in hand. Lets just say that I didnt have much patience for any bovine nonsense this morning. No cows running off the cow path for fallen apples and pears. No lollygagging, or enjoying the beautiful sunrise or singing, Oh, what a beautiful morning. It was all business this morning. I did not have time for their bullshit this morning. It was of the longest 1/4 mile stretches of my life. Finally rallying up the last of the dairy cows into the barn, I headed to the farm house for a fresh cup of coffee. Pouring myself a cup, I ran to the barn, and found the first udder that was available. Four squirts per cup. I know this because? Well...lets just say this isnt the first time that this has happened. After taking a sip of that cream flavored coffee, brain function returned to my encephalon region. And then, I got to thinking. Because before the caffeine entered my body, I couldnt use my cognitive skills. Wouldnt it be cool to have a coffee shop where the cream came straight from the cows udder. I could envision a cow in a stanchion, hippy like yuppies lined up outside the barn, ordering coffee to a trained barista who then in turn would yell to the milk maids, Four squirts half cream, half raw milk in an iced latte. Whoa. I am totally on to something. You just wait, stalkers. When Yeehaw Farm becomes a household name like Starbucks and McDonalds, yall are going to be saying, Man, I knew her when she was poor nut job. Now she is a rich nut job.
Posted on: Sat, 20 Sep 2014 23:47:08 +0000
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