My name is joshua Russell. I am 35 yrs old. I am bi polar,over - TopicsExpress



          

My name is joshua Russell. I am 35 yrs old. I am bi polar,over weight,I smoke and I have a drink on occasion. I am a veteran. I served 4 years in the United States marine corp and received an honorable discharge. I have never been arrested or spent a night in jail. I attended the university of Utah and am really close to having a college degree in environmental science. I have 16,000 in student loans. I owe back child support. I am in debt a total of 50,000 dollars. I have made a lot of bad choices in my life but still manage to get up everyday and work. I take home less then 140 dollars a week. I have been hospitalized multiple times due to my mental illness. I am currently taking medication and have been doing better the last year. This is who I am. I am a father to 3 beautiful children from 3 different mothers. My oldest child is from a relationship that lasted almost 10 years. I broke down under stress and threw that relationship to the wayside. I caused a lot of hurt and distrust by my actions. I work daily to try and repair what I damaged. His mother is a wonderful parent and has nothing but his best interest at heart. She works hard to provide a stable home. I can not be there in person but try to take care of my responsibility by working a full time job and a part time job. I do not get to see him because of the distance away he lives. I call almost every night around the same time and hope to get just a few minutes of a 6 yr olds time. Carrie keep up what you are doing. He is becoming the little man that he is due to your hard work and effort. My next child is from a relationship that started when I was going through my break down. During this time I ended up in the hospital due to my mental illness. His mother and I were on again and off again. When I first found out she was pregnant I had just recently moved back to oregon. At the time I denied that the child was mine and waited until he was born to except responsibility. His mother has done a wonderful job at raising him as well. I am currently working on trying to rebuild that relationship as well. I have only met my son once and it breaks my heart that I have not had more of an opportunity to spend time with him due to my foolish choices. Our recent FaceTime chats have brightened my outlook on the future of our relationship. Eboni I am sorry for the hurt and damaged I have caused. And lastly my daughter. My relationship with my daughters mom and I ended with me cheating and lies to cover it up. A few months later we split up and its been a hard fight ever sense. I made a lot of mistakes in that relationship and caused a tremendous amounts of hurt and pain. Angela had helped me out and gave and gave trying to help. I was taking and not giving back. When I was told she was pregnant I was scared and afraid I was already struggling to take care of my other 2 children and the thought of one more scared the death out of me. I wanted to give up. I tried but someone intervened. I ended up in the hospital a second time, lost my job and was living in a great friends travel trailer. Angela is battling breast cancer and is fighting as hard as she can. She is a wonderful mother and takes great care of our daughter. I have not seen my daughter as much as I should because of the damaged I caused. We are currently trying to workout a parenting plan but mediation came to a stand still when Angela walked out due to the suspected lies I was telling. I made my mistakes no doubt about it but Im working to correct them. I dont blame her for being angry and upset. I want the opportunity to spend time with my daughter in a peaceful setting with out hostility poking its head around every corner. I do provide insurance for all 3 of my children and pay child support on the 2 oldest. Im working on my daughters. It tough when I take so little home. So that is me if you wanna know anything else just ask. I will no longer hide from my past. I will push forward and do the best I can. Thank you
Posted on: Tue, 03 Dec 2013 18:06:27 +0000

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