My sons Christopher and Jonah have huge places in my heart. Christopher I raised and Jonah I did not, my sister adopted him when he was born because I was not able to take care of him because of my own bad choices and mistakes. In the first 4 years of his life I saw him often and every time it came time to leave him my heart would break. In the last almost 4 years I have only seen him two times and there is always a dull ache but....my heart did not break as much in his absence as it did when I got to see him a lot and had to leave him again. Jonah is turning 8 on the 8th of December and I have been invited to his birthday party and also I have been invited to spend Christmas with him and the rest of my family. I know of this is going to sound so selfish of me but.....Im so afraid to go! I dont want to go and fall in love with him all over again, I never stopped loving him, and then leave again, leaving him behind and feel my heart break once again. I dont know what to do? I want to do whats best for him and be selfless. Then I think maybe he is just better off without me in his life anyway, maybe they all are? I am asking you my friends for your advice. Please tell me your opinions on what I should do, I need help on this. I LOVE YOU LITTLE JONAHMAN!
Posted on: Wed, 03 Dec 2014 23:57:11 +0000
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