My trigger buttons have been pushed on again - I am anxious about something - well I worry about things every day but today I am and I am being ignored - in other words I am saying things and I am met with complete silence. When I ask him why he says he does not want to be drawn into a argument as this is the way it always goes ! I tried explaining that if I had had the decency of a reply which after all is respectful and I am entitled to being respected surely - he just says without looking at me I have already told you earlier - and I have a customer coming here in an hour whilst remaining cold calm and aloof. Now it is as usual stony silence as I sit at my desk which is opposite to his desk and I am going out in ten minutes - my heart is beating fast as extremely anxious now and have not been reassured as I had hoped for. I am guessing my Borderline Personality Disorder is a big reason for me feeling extra anxious and the fact that as a young child and teenager living at home with my Nan who raised me, when she did not feel like answering me back she just didnt ! and did the very same thing not even to look at me or acknowledge me in any way. So she ignored me and let me suffer in silence and would go into another room away from me. Sometimes this lasted a relatively short while, sometimes for the rest of the day but either way it hurts.....
Posted on: Tue, 04 Nov 2014 14:28:11 +0000