NAGGING CAN WRECK YOUR RELATIONSHIP: ATTACKING YOUR PARTNER INTO SILENCE CAN MAKE THEM WITHDRAWN AND RESENTFUL Nagging your partner into silence can wreck your relationship. Being withdrawn is a form of emotional behavior known as “disengaging” and leaves people with seething resentment about their relationship with their other half. And expecting a partner to somehow know what we are feeling - known as “passive immobility” - also leaves people dissatisfied prevents us from making up after a tiff. They warn the latter is almost as bad as withdrawal. Psychology Professor Keith Sanford at Baylor Universitys College of Arts & Sciences, Texas, said: “Withdrawal is the most problematic for relationships. Its a defensive tactic that people use when they feel they are being attacked, and theres a direct association between withdrawal and lower satisfaction overall with the relationship.” “Withdrawing when a partner criticizes or complains is a way of avoiding a perceived threat and is more characteristic of unhappiness. Just about everyone does that from time to time, but you see more of that in distressed relationships. Theres a desire to maintain autonomy, control and distance.” Meanwhile, those who expected a partner to know what was wrong without being told were believed to be anxious, feeling neglected rather than threatened. “Youre worried about how much your partner loves you, and thats associated with neglect. You feel sad, hurt and vulnerable,” said Sanford. “Often, you have one person who withdraws and the other demands. The more the one demands and complains, the more the other withdraws, and so on.”
Posted on: Tue, 13 Jan 2015 18:48:29 +0000
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