National Conference Chronicles Day 8- Ask Not What You Can Do For Your Country. Ask Whats For Lunch By Bayo Adeyinka During the 2011 elections, he preferred to be called Goodluck Ebele Azikiwe Jonathan but today he got another name from a delegate, Professor Andrew Haruna. For your information, our President will now be known as Mallam Jamilu Haruna otherwise translated as Good Luck. Step forward, our new Mallam! This christening came about as Professor Andrew Haruna supported Sani Hangas position that the government should stop sponsoring pilgrimages, religious holidays and also remove religious emblems from public places. If we truly operate a secular constitution, why should government get involved in religion? Today could be classified as the day of the Professors. If any section of the populace is crying about marginalization and under-representation whatever that means, certainly not our men of the academic gown. Consider the roll call of those who spoke today: Professor Andrew Haruna of the Mallam Jamilu Haruna fame, Professor Rukayat Ahmed Rufai, the former Minister of Education, Professor Titilola Filani, Professor Jerry Gana, Professor Ibrahim Gambari and Professor U.M. Ivowi. Nigeria doesnt lack Professors of every hue and colour in spite of our colourless ivory towers. In Nigeria, everyone has an idea of what is wrong with the country and the solutions proffered are as varied as they are queer. Musa Shehu wants the government to set up a Transport Bank because officials steal money from government coffers and set up transport companies when they retire. The same delegate also wants parents who write exams for their children to be executed. Now, read this very slowly- if Musa Shehu has his way, those who over-declare and falsify their ages will be executed. If there is an award for the most brilliant and original idea at this Conference, this idea should get it. Just that we have not thought of the potential number of orphans created by this idea leading to a social crisis especially in a nation where social welfare does not exist. Whoever nominated Musa Shehu deserves a pat on the back. Now, food. One of the delegates, J. I. Ebinum moved a motion to stop the provision of lunch to delegates, insisting on monetization of the food. As if possessed by the legion of Gadara, delegates screamed No at the top of their voices. May I remind Mr Ebinum that the protests against Tunisian dictator Zine Ben Ali were demonstrations against high bread prices? Do I need to remind him that Iceland and the United Kingdom were engaged in a series of naval skirmishes between 1950-1970 over fishing rights in what was known as the Cod War? Can one of the Professors at the Conference let him know that there was also a Salt War in the 15th Century between Papal allies and the Duke of Ferrera in Italy over the control of salt? We may just witness the greatest battle shortly -not against corruption, impunity, insecurity, unemployment and disease- but over food. Josephine Anenih saved the day with the quote of the week, For the past two days, we have been eating Chinese food. But I pity Mr Ebinum and I advise that he should watch his back because someone who got the feeding contract has just turned his name into a prayer point.- All the delegates like Ebinum who wants to stop my share of the national cake, Fire!. The Conference adjourned till next week and couldnt vote on whether to monetize the food or continue to provide lunch for the delegates.
Posted on: Thu, 03 Apr 2014 20:48:04 +0000
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