New Christmas line-up for channel 1025 The Apathy Channel 25th Dec 2013 7am Happy Christmas service From the Church of the flaming sword in Newport, hosted by Thorny Bird and sponsored by cheepo stair lifts. A usually empty church is packed to the rafters by middles class wannabes who would never attend church normally and only did so today in the hope of getting their face on television. Ours priest for today is the right Rev Dr Karl Toogood, who will do his best to bore people to death as slowly as possible. Higlight of the show is Welsh star Charlotte Vestibule who will sig Tocca de fugue in D minor. 9am Cartoon Time With Alex and Rominof Some cartoons we managed to get cheap from the old USSR and tell the tale of a cartoon cat and dog, their trials and tribulations in everyday life. Today’s episodes are. A Tale of two Cheese’s, Alex and Rominof get into a tricky situation while waiting in the line for cheese. Let then eat Cake, Alex and Rominof get into a tricky situation while waiting in the line for some cake. Bread and aprons, Alex and Rominof get into a tricky situation while waiting in the line for some bread. Comrade Dog, Alex and Rominof are given free cake, bread and milk while visiting a tractor factory in Minsk, Alex is awarded a box of Minsk pies for being comrade of the year. Spies like US, Alex and Rominof are shot for selling secrets to the US while waiting in line to pee. 9:30am House Aide Update Terrence Wobegone is back to give us all updates on the amount of money raised so far. There will be clips a plenty, with children showing off their crappy pictures and some celebrity saying how wonderful everything is and what nice people you all are. (so generally being a right twat) 10am A Very Zombie Christmas (Directors cut) (18++) Sharpen your axe and load that shotgun you are in for a thrilling Christmas ride you will never forget. The story is set in Swansea Town centre on Christmas eve. A young family are shopping in the town centre when little Johnny Wilcox gets bitten by a radioactive reindeer. Hilarity ensues when the whole family are turned into Zombies and go on a blood soaked killing rampage infecting everyone they bite. While the boffins in Swansea desperately work on a cure for the flesh eating plague before it spreads to other parts of the UK. Meanwhile in London the prime minster has to abandon an emergency meting as his aid forgets to get Rich Tea Biscuits for the Coffee break. (Has this movie effected you?, call 08000biteme1 for a trained physco therapist) Calls charged at £78.00 per min. 12noon Its Circumcision Time !!! Today our guest panellists with be taking a rye look at circumcision techniques in the 18th century. Four lucky audience members will be chosen at random to have the operation performed on television. Our panellists today are Paul Minton, Geoffrey Hue, George Eagle and Kevin Binkon, and our host for today’s show is Boris Jinson. A treat for all the family with laughs aplenty. (Press the + button for the hard of hearing, you wont get subtitles but the TV volume will go to maximum) 1pm A Christmas story A modern retelling of the classic story set in Shannon airport and tells the story of a man or performs various magic trick and ends up getting nailed to a piece of wood for saying it would be good if people would be nice to each other for a change, (dampens the Christmas atmos really) 1:30pm Safe Cracking A beginners Guide. (WARNING it is illegal to watch this program, anyone doing so could be arrested) We follow a team of professional safe crackers as they plunder their way across the west Midlands. There are hint and tips on how to pick locks, bypass alarms and the easiest safes to break into. In this Christmas special they will be breaking into the safes of the rich and famous. 2pm The Apathy Channels Christmas Party LIVE. Its all go at our Christmas party, anything can happen in the next seven hours. Watch live as three people get the sac on air (with action replay of their faces as they are told) Will Ellie the MD’s secretary get blind drunk and loose it like she did last year? (there where paramedics everywhere, what a hoot). We have a surprise in store for David on Security , we are going show pictures of him with his boyfriend, That will surprise his wife. PLEASE NOTE we can not promise steady camera work as we are going to get Steve the camera man drunk so we could loose transmission at any time. Don’t worry have Prince Charles talking about the history of Biscuits for three an a half hours. 9pm Off AIR We will be playing a loud beeping noise until 1am. 1am International coin collecting Nuff said !!!
Posted on: Wed, 27 Nov 2013 20:09:00 +0000
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