New, Less Efficient Bus Schedules Actually Part of ResLife Propaganda If you lived on campus, youd be home by now reads a sign plastered onto the ceiling of a DCR outbound, causing tens of students to rethink their current living situations. BU has strategically put up ResLife posters advocating on campus living just weeks after announcing the new fall semester housing deadline. Only now are students realizing that the various off-campus travel obstructions are actually just additional ploys to keep students in the dorms. One of our representatives got the scoop from an administrator who wishes to remain anonymous. After New Dickinson failed to attract upperclassmen, we knew we needed to do something drastic to draw students back to campus. We hired a professional to create a highly technical system that is generally inconvenient and unreliable, especially for the thousands of students living near the UDC. We can only hope that 30 minute bus rides, seemingly random departure times, and late arrivals will deter students from living downtown.” When asked if the re-construction of Riverside Drive was another initiative taken by the university, our source replied, “The Riverside project was actually just a stroke of good luck. The street closings typically add at least 10 minutes to any given DCR trip without putting any blame on the university directly. It’s fool-proof.” Junior and second year off-campus resident Angela Castellano requested a refund of her renewal deposit for popular downtown complex 20 Hawley this past Tuesday. It just doesnt make sense to live there next year. The increased independence and superior quality of living space isnt worth the extra half hour it takes to get to class. Whats more important, being able to walk to the bars on the weekend or to print at Bartle 15 minutes before class? says Castellano as she waits for a bus just outside the UDC printing center. “I’m actually looking forward to sharing a room and bathroom again. Privacy is cool and all, but nothing says ‘college experience’ like three feet of personal space and fighting for the shower.” Freshman Howard Beckman excitedly reported, “The housing deadline didn’t really bother me. If anything, it gave me the peace of mind to know I’m locked in to living with my current roommate Vinnie again next year! It’s only been two months, but if he’s put up with my antics thus far, what could go wrong?” Vinnie had no comments on the matter. If on-campus figures are still under University standards by 2015, BU officials have hinted at the creation of a learning community exclusively for students from Westchester County in Newing and another for Long Islanders in Dickinson. By Maura Lewis
Posted on: Sat, 18 Oct 2014 16:00:00 +0000
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