Next month....October ...will be one year since I have heard Zachs sweet voice...or sweet smile....its been one year since I have heard him yell at me and tell me to mind my own business...lol.......how I wish I could hear him one more time!.... it feels as if its been a lifetime.....I remember how sweet he was as a baby.....those bright sparkling eyes.....his smile could melt anybodys heart...as he grew up ....I struggled to keep him close.....while he struggled to grow ......many did not understand our relationship.....our ups and downs.....and thats OK.....at the end of the day...I was still his mother and he was still my son.....zach was always full of questions.....about everything.....I wish I had taken the time to offer more answers......I have many regrets....but I thought I had plenty of time......time to make the changes needed...I know everyones life goes on and I know everyone moves forward.....I will never forget zach.....maybe I wasnt the best at being his mother.....but I did the best I could....the night zach died....I was awakened with the strangest feeling.....I know that is when zach took his last breath....I should have gotten up and gone to him.....little did I know how badly he needed me......if I could give my life to bring zach back ....I would...in a second.......it seems unfair....he had his whole life ahead of him.....I get angry....then bitter.....then humble....I know God has His reasons....maybe to bring me to my knees...to punish me....to show me who is in control.....I will always wonder.....I love you zach...I will always miss you....mom
Posted on: Thu, 04 Sep 2014 16:51:11 +0000
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