(Nicola Barrett): This is a portion of my testimony that I want to share with you all: It is one of the BEST feelings in life to be content. May I testify for a moment?: For most of my life I struggled with several issues (all of which I am thankful for, though mostly bad, they have shaped me into the person I am today), issues to include feelings of abandonment, feelings of not belonging, relationship issues, being unhappy and miserable, feeling inadequate and lacking a true purpose and the like. I spent many nights crying myself to sleep, spent my days being uncomfortable, I was a major loner (many things contributed to this) people never understood me, many still dont and have never tried but such is life; NEXT!!! The only real comfort I had was God and that is why He means the world to me. From a tender age education was seen by me as my only way out (it still is) and that is why I always strived to do well in school and have done well from about 4th grade until today (if I may say so myself). Many thanks and appreciation goes out to my teachers who saw potential and had faith in me. Those from primary school (Mrs. Waul-grade 6 Teacher) my high school teachers (OHHS), and especially my lecturers from UWI. If it was not for many of them and my high school friends and great people from my church and a few family members who encouraged me through it all, I would never be here right now. Thinking about where I am at present and where I am coming from brings so much gratitude; I am even moved to tears and can hardly express myself. All I can say is that Jesus is the BEST thing that ever happened to me. I almost gave up soooooo many times but my Lord gave me strength, grace, favour and mercy even when I never deserved it. I know I sometimes do not show how grateful I am for ALL that I have been through, if persons could see my heart they would know. I am aware that I never dealt with many of my life situations in the best ways, publicly I say I am truly sorry; publicly I also say a BIG thank you to all those who play a part in my life one way or another (Good or bad). Thank you in abundance to those who stayed and even more to those who left. Today, I feel like all the weights of life has been lifted off my shoulders. The last few months of my life proved so much to me. Friends, our outlook on life can make or break us (talking from experience). I have changed my outlook to things more positive and I can say my life is MUCH better. I am a better person. I leave all negativity behind me; looking ahead to greater things. I feel good! I was diagnosed with Frontal Lobe Atrophy some weeks ago (google it to see what it is if you dont know), strange at my age. Two times with a few months between I was at church leading worship and fell ill (had to be rushed to the doctor on one occasion and the hospital on another), felt sick several times and thought I had food poisoning when in fact it was much more serious. Long story short, I was referred to do a brain CT scan and from there, frontal lobe atrophy was what the doctor said was found, Im like what, me, why, when, where, how?, one more strike to add to a life of struggles and misery. I gave up on myself and felt that this is it, if I should die then so let it be, I wont even try to get any medical help, I rather die than to live suffering. I semi-cried only once because I was at the point of acceptance. When I broke the news to those I deemed important to know, some responded and gave encouragement telling me I should have faith, told me to pray and bind it up in the name of Jesus.......all I said was ok to get them to rest the subject. I simply GAVE UP because I was just tired of this faith thing and the last straw was drawn. Little did I know what God had in store for me.............I spent thousands of dollars that I did not have going to doctors and specialists, doing tests and buying medication..........I felt my life was over, but VICTORY!!!!!!!! Praise Jesus!!!!!! The last test (EEG) I did came back very normal says my neurologist, praise Jesusususus......even he quoted scriptures and encouraged me. I am thankful for life, I am thankful to God, I am thankful to all those who prayed and kept speaking good health into my life. All I can say is glory to God! Now, my only worry is tension and migraine headaches and even those I am controlling. I make nothing bother or worry me anymore. My God is bigger than any problems or sickness. I will not let life bring me down, what I cannot control, I simply leave alone and look at in a positive way. I now let God fight my battles and thats how it should be. I now walk around with a smile; I glow in Gods grace! I have a book writing did I tell you? Lol. Master degree January here I come! :) Nothing but God can stop me now! GLORRRRRRYYYYYYYY! Be blessed! #Nickyb
Posted on: Sat, 09 Nov 2013 00:59:45 +0000
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