Not many people know that Im also a theoretical zombriologist. Im famous for my Zom-Curve Transformation Theorem, which can be summarized as follows: For any zombie-field (F_Z) with non-zero undead eigenvalues at all points under application of the Umbrella Zombie-Matrix conformal mapping algorithm (when equipped with the Carl-Stokers moan-invariant sub-transformation and containing exactly 3 distinct non-trivial topological subsets) there exists exactly 2 unique Complex-Vampire-generators with an indiscrete statistical distribution, one always negative, the other usually positive, which have the property that for any member Vampire v with a complex-number of fangs and at least 3*pi/exp(7 + sqrt(3)) claws, there exists a corresponding inverse zombie x which for all undead y within an absolute distance of 9 feet in configurational space, when multiplied by Um_Z(x + y) and added to Um_V(x*y), the result is a real number. Corollary: The negative cube-root of /any/ vampire is a set of zombies with location space tending towards constant omnipresence as undead tends to positive infinity. This theorem, together with the Undeadinger Wave equation with infinite-dimensional evility extension, the Helsing inverse-M law, and Kings law of universal annihilation, together illustrate the Vampire-Zombie duality and make up the fundamental theorems of Undeadology, which, when paired with statistical hyper-dimensional darkness theory, leads to the current Standard Model of Evil, our greatest accomplishment so far.
Posted on: Thu, 06 Mar 2014 14:37:57 +0000
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