Not sure how long this page has been going but it came up in my newsfeed on Friday and at first I just sat and read a whole lot of stories and commented on peoples stories for ages. My husband and I have had 4 miscarriages (5 children) in between our 4 living children. Im now ready to share my story. This all happened before I was 25. My boyfriend now husband and I were extremely excited when we had our oldest son back in July 1994, I had a carefree full term pregnancy and natural and easy delivery. My baby was the perfect baby and he was nearing 18 months when I fell pregs again in May 1996, only to miscarry my baby naturally at 8 weeks. The specialist didnt read too much into it since I had a healthy toddler. A month later I fell pregs again and I didnt know what to expect so my hubby and I thought that we wouldnt tell our families and friends until the safe 3 month time. Everything was fine than in Sep 1996 Id had a routine ultrasound done and everything was right on track than 4 days later I was bleeding heavily, went to hospital and was examined and told that my baby was dead. My heart broke into a million pieces that day, as I sit here now typing this its like its happening for real all over again.. We didnt have a car back then and my husband was still coming from work n had to pick up our son before he could to get to me so I was all on my own, the doctor told me I had to deliver my baby as my cervix was open and if I sat up gravity will do the rest. So I did, I always joke about my babys birth being my easiest. The nurse took baby away and said shell clean it up and come back. My husband had arrived with our son. We shed our tears and I explained what had happened and not long after that the nurse carried baby in and confirmed it was a boy and told us to let her know when we were finished. Im a real photo queen and I photograph n keep everything that is special to me. My hubby, our toddler and I held our son and cried. I told my husband to go home and get my camera as this was one of those photo moments for me. He left and after a couple of hours he returned without my camera. It wasnt where I always left it I WAS ANNOYED! I later realized that my son didnt want me to photograph him like this because when I got home I found my camera exactly where I said it was and my hubby said it just wasnt there when I went home to get it.. We had our last cuddles, kisses with our son than the nurse came and took him away and I had to have a DNC done. I was very young when this happened and 6 weeks later I had my check up and they had done an autopsy on our son and the specialist went through it with us.. He was 16 weeks and there was absolutely nothing wrong with him.. brain, eyes, fingers, toes, bowel, liver etc FINE, it was just one of those things. The specialist told me to have a year break which felt like torture and this didnt sit well with me at all! All I have of him is his ultrasound photo 4 days before he died and hes autopsy report. This was a very trying time for us in our young marriage and family. 5 months later and totally against what I had been told in Feb 1997 I was pregs again. We didnt know how this was going to work out so we tried to stay positive and this time we didnt tell anyone until I was 5 months along.. in Jan 1998 saw me have my 2nd son like my first, easy carefree healthy full term natural delivery which left my doctors scratching their heads.. Like his brother he was a perfect little boy that healed a lot of hurt and doubt that was hanging over us from our 2 lost angels.. My baby was 8 months old and I fell pregs again and in Oct 1998 I was at home and my husband had the day off and I started to bleed again. This time around my hubby and I knew the drill and I went to the hospital and my hubby had to stay home with the boys as we didnt have anyone to watch them. Walked into emergency went through the drill than when I got checked out I was told I had miscarried twins. I rang to tell my hubby as we were both in shock and he asked me to ask the doctor if he could save one of them... Couldnt be done I lost them both and had another DNC.. I remember going back into that DARK place but for some reason it wasnt as bad as it was before. I had to stay strong as I had 2 young boys to bring up and I just moved on with my life only really allowing myself to grieve once my family had gone to bed. In Feb 1999 I miscarried again and my doctors were very confused at what was going on with me.. another DNC done. June 1999 I fell pregs again and this time in March 2000 I delivered a very healthy 11 pound full term no complications natural not as easy this time as it took some effort for me to push her out because of her size but I was determined to do it on my own, beautiful girl. Her brothers, dad and I fell in love with her she was our little white fatty. When she was 5 months old I had the opportunity to go back to work and I took it. I worked in the arvos and my hubby in the mornings. We raised our kids ourselves. We both come from big families and wanted one ourselves.. 6 was our number but after what we had gone through we were grateful for whatever we were blessed with. My hubby and I spoke about having a 4th but my hubby told me I had to let him know when I was ready I just couldnt get out of my mind that I might have to lose 2 more just to have one. That time finally came when my little girl was 4 yrs old and I had a healthy full term natural delivery in April 2005 with our beautiful baby girl who healed us in so many ways.. she is as my hubby puts it OUR GOING OUT ON A BANG BABY My angels names are precious and they are only for my husband our kids and I. We didnt have to lose 2 just to have 1.. Im grateful for this page people dont realize that all our babies are counted and are a part of us forever.. UNTIL WE MEET AGAIN MY ANGELS.. FLY HIGH MY BABIES!! WE LOVE YOU x
Posted on: Sun, 19 Jan 2014 08:21:10 +0000
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