November 30, 2013 So….what do potato soup, fireplaces, pink Polar Bear flannel pajamas, Baileys Irish cream and coffee, and good friends laughing all have in common? No it’s not Ladies night at my house, it’s my list of comfort things. And comfort comes in all forms. Comfort is needed when you’re sad, at times of loss, during times of depression, or if you’re like me….even during cold weather. I’m speaking about the comfort you seek when its bone chillingly cold outside, the skies are grey and you just need to be in and around the things that make you warm and make you warm everywhere, starting from the pit of your belly and working its way to your toes and to the top of your head. I LOVE winter but I detest the cold, meaning, I love snow. Nothing is as romantic as looking outside on a clear night, seeing the stars so bright they look like icicles sparkling, and snowflakes so big and fluffy if you didn’t know better you’d think they were small tufts of fluff floating. And when the ground is covered with snow and everything is still fresh and unmarred. We seldom get times where we can look outside and see a scene so peaceful the world looks brand new for us, and a beautiful snowfall does that for me. But it’s also a time when I feel so at peace, I go for my comfort things. And not necessarily because I feel the need for comfort, but because I feel so renewed that I don’t want the feeling of peace to go away. I even have a comfort smell, fresh baked or baking bread, and the sight of potbelly stoves, because those are the memories I have of my Nana. And scented burning oil: cinnamon and spice, I just find the scent warm. I have comfort songs: Daddy don’t you walk so fast, by Mr. Wayne Newton. Because when I was little I used to sit on my daddy’s knee while he strummed his guitar that was the song he’d sing while he warmed up his voice. And with my mom’s song…Amazing Grace done by bagpipe. Amazing Grace is full of beauty any way it’s sung, but again, due to association of the memories relating to my mom, no rendition sounds quite as awe inspiring to me as when it’s done on the bagpipes. And statistically, people tend to gather around a warm fire with some Michael Buble or some other smooth music, with good food or soothing drinks, typically a lit Christmas tree, because the cold symbolizes the beginning of the most peaceful time of year. And you know what’s amazing about being part of the population that do involve ourselves in the Christmas spirit? There’s no other time of the year that we, as a people, are more peaceful, more loving, more giving and generous, and more comforting, to one another. It really is the Christmas spirit. I wish we could engage in this feeling all the time, but if we did….we would begin to not recognize it for the special feelings they truly are. We would not appreciate the feeling of wonder and delight of seeing an amazing light display or a fresh blanket of snow, or seeing children giggle while learning to ice skate….and oh there’s so much more. And yes, while it would be nice to experience this feeling more often, in the world today where there seems to be 5 negatives for every positive, at least society still hasn’t lost the magic of Christmas. And we should be so thankful that at least we haven’t lost that. There’s a darker side to winter though and the people who suffer from it don’t always recognize it, and feel helpless to fix it. Maybe it doesn’t seem like a big problem because it only lasts a few months. Winter depression. It’s a very real thing. A dear friend of mine goes through it, and didn’t know why he just wanted to hide from the world during a time when the world was coming together in a time of peace. And if you are or suspect you or someone you care about do suffer from winter depression, there is a quick and easy cure. Winter depression is caused by a lack of sunshine and melatonin to your skin, the greyness of winter and the fact that the sun shines the dullest during October to March, causes a lack of Vitamin D to your body. If you suffer from winter depression, or more commonly known as “winter blues”, it’s a simple vitamin supplement. If you recognize that the blues is all you suffer from, and that with the onset of Spring, your down feelings begin to perk up, there’s not even a need for any depression counselling. However, if you know that the bluesy feeling you get is an overlying symptom of something deeper, then yes, maybe counselling may be helpful. But my suggestion is that a person should try Vitamin D supplements first. Again, this “winter blues” tends to be due to the fact that you get up for work when it’s dark, and due to the time of year, clock changes etc…you leave when it’s dark out, and hardly see daylight, if at all. That takes a toll not only on your psyche but on your physical self as well. And to be honest, as a counselor, many many problems that occur to us physically is because of our mental state. That’s why the “placebo affect” works well. People can keep themselves hale and hearty simply with positive thoughts, believing you’re taking a medication (when in actuality it’s sugar pills), meditation…even deep and even breathing can help cure some ails. Think about the times when you get a cold. There are times when you know you should have had a full blown cold and yet it didn’t happen. And there are other times when you have no idea how you managed to start the day feeling great and yet by the end of the day, you are sick as a dog. Not to say that germs, immune function and biology have nothing to do with it. Of course it does. But the truth of the matter is, there are many many recorded cases of people who have had cancer or other terminal illness, and yet the person has maintained their positive energies and thoughts and managed to beat the sickness against all odds. I know it seems as if I’ve veered off the path I originally began with but I haven’t. My point is, we can help cure our bodies when we maintain positivity of our minds. And one of those positive things, is recognizing that it’s ok to be depressed, it’s ok to not be the person who maintains happiness during the holidays, there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. What begins to make it harmful is not recognizing it, and letting it eat at our peace. Letting it eat at our psyches. Do what’s best for you. And I know what’s best for me is sometimes allowing the feelings of depression to come to me, maybe it’s listening to Daddy don’t you Walk so Fast. Maybe its listening to the bagpipes. Maybe it’s many things. But always know, that while the tears are shed, I do it because it’s healthy. It’s healthy to remember, and to cry. It’s healthy to allow yourself to get a little bummed out so you can have peace. Sometimes you have to scrape away at old wounds to allow new happy memories to cover those wounds. That is the essence of healing. And sometimes, I open a can of Campbell’s Chicken Noodle Soup, and crush crackers in it, letting them get soggy. Not because I have a love of mush, but because on cold days, my mom and I used to do that together. There weren’t enough times to sit down and have those quiet moments, we all battle a private demon that no one else can battle with us and my mom’s was her health, but the moments that there were, are the memories I hold close. So occasionally I will have a bowl of chicken noodle cracker mush and smile quietly at a conversation that took place over 20yrs ago…and I feel my comfort and peace. As always, as I end my weekly blogs, I try to remember to encourage feedback and personal stories. Please, email myself or Karen, or the TRU Potential Facebook page, and if you’d like, we can share your stories. And we really do encourage our readers to get interactive with us, give us topic ideas. Nothing is off limits. If you find yourself in need of help, or you need advice in which to help someone else, please feel free to contact us. If you’d like to remain anonymous that is 100% ok. We are looking at opening up the blog site for feedback in the New Year, however, as with all websites, we found that the website ended up getting a lot of spam and potentially viral posts, and to keep the integrity of the site, we did turn off the feedback function. But again, you can find us on facebook. And you can also find our emails there as well. Take care and we’ll see you in a week!!!!!
Posted on: Fri, 29 Nov 2013 22:17:25 +0000
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