{November Funny #11} My funny stories today are in honor of my dad. It’s his 71st birthday today!! 1) Those of you who know my dad will understand how hilarious this is. He hates shopping and loathes black Friday. He got up at 5:20 this morning and went to Tractor Supply in Woodland Park to buy a snow blower. He was the very first person to check out! What a guy! Apparently he loathes scooping snow more than shopping on black Friday. 2) My dad is very list oriented. While we were young, he would give us a list of items to do that day. We were expected to get everything done, do it well, and do it quickly. When we would slow down, he would say, “You better work faster or a turkey buzzard will come eat out your eyes.” (Yes, I completely understand that I could probably call social service if that happened today!) Sure enough, it seemed like every time I would get lazy, buzzards would start circling in the sky above me! It was the sure-fire way to get me working quicker! To this day, I hate birds! Thanks dad. 3) One time for family vacation, we went fishing on Lake Michigan. We were driving home with the boat hitched to the back of a vehicle. Somehow the hitch broke and MeLinda and I started yelling from the back seat! The boat was rolling down the interstate behind us, but it wasn’t attached! It was swerving all over and cars were eagerly getting out of its way. Finally, it landed in the median between the two directions of the interstate. We left my dad with the boat. He sat in the boat, got out his fishing pole, and was fishing in the medium. I’m sure he was quite the entertainment for the other travelers. No, he didn’t catch anything! 4) I used to love going with my dad to “check the ponds.” It was simple… drive around and see if there were any ducks or geese on the ponds. I’m sure there are some of you who have never had the opportunity to “check the ponds”… for that, I’m sorry for your loss. ;) For some of the ponds, I would get out and open the gate and then dad would drive the truck through. Then I would close the gate and get back in the truck. At this one farm, the calves had just been weaned. The mommas were so loud, bawling for their babies. They were acting mean to me and I wanted to get the fence gate opened and closed as quickly as possible. I got it open, dad drove through and then I closed it. I got it all locked up and then I realized I was on the wrong side! I was locked inside with the mean cows! Of course, dad had been watching me the entire time and was laughing! He just drove away, leaving me in the field with the scary cows! He didn’t go far though… he came back to help me escape! 5) Whenever I started dating a guy, my dad would have a talk with him and give him a shotgun shell. He told them that every time they did something he didn’t like, they would get another shell. On the third shell, he would start using them! I was pretty confident that he was serious! When my dad presented us as husband and wife at our wedding, Shea handed him back the shell. My dad was so surprised, he about fell over. I love you, dad! Happy birthday to you!
Posted on: Fri, 28 Nov 2014 20:10:31 +0000
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