Now That You Are Married #33 No one goes into marriage planning to have an affair. I don’t think anyone plans to fail. They fail because they don’t put safeguards in place to prevent that failure. Don’t foolishly think failure could never happen to you. Paul wrote in First Corinthians 10:12, So, if you think you are standing firm, be careful that you don’t fall! One of the most important ways to avoid failure is to practice accountability. My definition of accountability is: answering for and giving report of your actions, words, attitudes or behavior; owning your decisions and actions. Why is accountability so important? Because failure happens in isolation. Satan doesn’t want you to establish accountability. He wants you to stay alone so you are an easier target. Failure happens when you don’t fear getting caught. Failure happens when you answer to no one but yourself. When you or your spouse resists accountability, that’s a big red flag. I intentionally put people and accountability systems around me so if I am tempted, I have someone who cares enough to get in my face and confront me before I do wrong. Two pastors on our staff have my social media and computer passwords. My email is automatically copied to Cindy’s computer at home. Virtually everyone has the passcode to unlock my phone. I don’t travel alone. I avoid privacy and embrace accountability. Here’s a couple practical steps to establish accountability: Share passwords. If you won’t share your computer password, Facebook password, or phone unlock code with your spouse, I’m concerned about you. Put filtering and monitoring software on your internet. Set it so your spouse gets a weekly report of your internet activity. Schedule a yearly marriage check-up with your pastor or a counselor. Allow someone else to ask the tough questions and address difficult issues. Empower a trusted friend to ask any question at any time. You need people who love you enough to confront. Offer information. Don’t ever make your wife demand to know where you are. Offer accountability. Give her the information before she asks! Choosing to be accountable isn’t always easy. That’s why so many people avoid it. In the short run, it’s easier to hide your flaws, stay away from people who challenge you and avoid accountability. But, in the long run, it’s a mistake that will ruin your marriage. Put accountability systems in place now, before there is a problem, and you’ll avoid problems!
Posted on: Sun, 06 Jul 2014 12:51:01 +0000
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