OH MY GOD MY ORIGINAL SPEECH HAS JUST TURNED UP, 3 days too late .damn you iPad. Today we come together to honor a remarkable fella Hes 34 now not 16 and still growing in our esteem And so begins our tale of quite a noteworthy male Born in Basra town and when he stopped acting like a clown He was very soon ready to become the man about the town. But before we discuss love and romance He not getting off that easy, no chance So its off to school we go but girls where a definite no no. In this all boys school the key was being cool, But for him There was not much chance of that with my good looks and Pauls bad hats I had no choice but to lock him away In the school gym shooting hoops all day Back then Bum chums was our name and street fighter was our game those ken vs Ryu years left one of us walking home in shame. We were Angry teenage boys constantly arguing over our toys , Like what wrestler was the best or should we wear Chicago bulls or lakers vests This lead to more than one falling out, Oh how we used to scream and shout but we got there in the end and we continued to best friends. I still cant believe the day we decided to raid Keiths cigar stash Just one puff each and to the toilet we had to dash Us two bum chums with green faces rubbing each others backs Puking down the toilet like a pair if twats. Remember That soggy top shelf mag that was scrumpled up and found by us sweet and innocent bum chums had our imaginations running round I still remember page 16 that looked like Your next door neighbours wife who always wore pink hot pants and flashed her-cellulite But the orange peal skin didnt matter much to us We were just so happy looking at her massive bust That brings me to the time when I almost murdered my best friend How he handle my cruel trick. Really must commend, I gave him a chilli pepper told him him it wasnt hot at all He took a massive bite and it drive him up the wall. Paul went purple, In a panic, I had to ring my mum, Help I shouted, Paul cant breathe, I think Ive killed my chum, But I must confess to be honest while I was in that rut, I was more concerned about the fact sue was gonna kick my butt Then there was the day of the Thomas rope swing tale He should not have got up that day there was epic fail after epic fail We found a giant rope swing we just couldnt resist So up stepped Paul, ready to try who knew thered be a twist Woo ho WAH hay boo hoo he landed on his back We shouted, closed our eyes and thought oh what a twat. We picked him up dusted him off and then we heard a cry Jamie sinnett challenge us, you cant beat me just try! Speeding down the hill he was weaving through the trees, Chased by turner Paul and whyman looking like a swarm of bees Through the trees and down the hill the three of them did dash With a bang and wallop in some stingys Paul did crash Oh boy I love this man. At Barry boys he learned his As, Bs and C Math, History, Geography - the birds and the bees With this new found knowledge under his hat The memo disco was where he could be found at With a shake of his hips and a wiggle of his fist On the dance floor with his mates he thought he was it But when it can to girls he just wasnt the best With his ridiculous dance moves they just werent impressed Now onto His academic career we go where hes grown from strength to strength hes a dab old hand at electrics but cant even pitch a tent. Never a charmer of the girls he often set of to fail he spent many a few years chasing after the tail. Well, all work and no play Makes paul a moody boy with many a strop and rage quit he can be a miserable young sod. So Paull became a sporting fan Cardiff City hes their greatest fan Well was until they got relegated now hes a Liverpool man Now, Paul has his family here today He has wonderful parents, I have to say Then theres his sister heather who I must say had Pauls friends hearts skipping beats by the day. Ok, so he certainly has become much older And with time his family has grown larger To debs mum sue and dad phil he has become a fine son-in-law and to Nicola a valued brother-in-law We now know Paul has had a fair bit of with practice games and lullabies and change dirty nappies with reluctant sighs Hamsters and dogs will be destined to stay when more little ones eventually arrive on their way And behind all this a lady must be So we turn to Debbie for it is she A woman of beauty, strength and good taste After all, she married Paul- stopped him going to waste. And so to Paul we raise a cheer for he really is quite a dear A man of integrity, principles and passion We all value him in our very own fashion So Ladies and Gentlemen please stand and charge you glasses you too young guys, gals and baby monsters Congratulations to Debbie and Paul we wish you a magical day May it be a lifetime of happiness in every way!
Posted on: Tue, 10 Jun 2014 09:30:26 +0000
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