OH precious Jersey A few responses about the State of New Jersey from some of our luminaries for those who had the FORTUNE / HONOR in having something to do in being there. 1. “You’re from Joisey? Is that how you say it? Joisey?” “No, that’s how you said it.” - Chris Christie— Newark , N.J. 2. “Why aren’t you tan?” “Because I’m not a cast member of Jersey Shore .” -Bruce Springsteen—Freehold, N.J. 3. “Where’s your Jersey accent?” “I fed it to the dawg.” -Jon Bon Jovi— Sayreville , N.J. 4. “Isn’t your entire state a dump?” “No, we just tell people that so they won’t come here and drive too slow in the left lane.” -Joe Jonas— Wyckoff , N.J. 5. “Do you live in New Jersey because you can’t afford to live in New York City ?” ”No, I live in New Jersey because I like living in New Jersey .” -Jon Stewart— Lawrenceville , N.J. 6. “Is your family in the mob?” “Do you really want me to answer that?” -James Gandolfini— Park Ridge , N.J. 7. “Do you even know how to pump gas?” “ New Jersey is only three hours long. Believe it or not, most of us have left the state once or twice.” -Jason Alexander— Livingston , N.J. 8. “Why does Jersey smell so bad?” “Because you’re here.” -Shaquille O’Neal— Newark , N.J. 9. “Do you fist-pump?” “Only into your face.” -Whitney Houston— Newark , N.J. 10. “Why does everyone curse so much?” “Because we like to f**king express ourselves.” -Danny DeVito— Asbury Park , N.J. 11. “What’s pork roll?” “May god have mercy on your poor soul.” -Frank Sinatra— Hoboken , N.J. 12. “Why is everyone from New Jersey so tough?” “There are a lot of us and only three lanes on the parkway.” -Queen Latifah— East Orange , N.J. 13. “What’s so great about diners?” “Hello, you can order pancakes and gyros off the same menu at 3 o’clock in the morning. “ -Joe Pesci— Belleville , N.J. 14. “Have you ever seen Clerks?” “Am I breathing?” -Jason Mewes— Highlands , N.J., and Kevin Smith—Red Bank, N.J. 15. “So is everyone in New Jersey a guido?” “Is everyone from your state this ignorant?” -Zach Braff— South Orange , N.J. 16. “Why does everyone drive so fast?” “The malls close at 10.” -Laura Prepon— Watchung , N.J. 17. “Why do you call it ‘the shore’?” “Cause beaches ain’t sh*t.” -Meryl Streep— Bernardsville , N.J. 18. “Why are your taxes so high?” “It costs a lot to live this fabulously.” -Lea Michele— Tenafly , N.J. 19. “What exit? Ha ha ha.” “69.” -Jack Nicholson— Neptune City , N.J. 20. “Why is impossible to make a left turn in this state?” “Because Jersey loves you and it never wants you to leave.” -Kevin Spacey—South Orange , N.J. 21. “Man, New Jersey sounds awesome. When can I move there?” “Sorry, no room.” -John Travolta— Englewood , N.J.
Posted on: Mon, 10 Mar 2014 17:04:04 +0000
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