OK... POTENTIALLY BIG LIFE ALTERNATING NEWS: But, to FULLY ensure the ability to protect myself and someone I really care about who really cares about me too, has been 1 of my biggest, strongest, most genuine allies, supporter, cheerleader, caregiver and friend who can VERY much relate to me in MANY ways/ gets me/ really understands and has been VERY helpful to me in SEVERAL ways in the past several months and I apparently according to her have done a lot of the same/ similar for her in her life as well in the past several months, I CANNOT disclose ANY details at this time about what Im about to very limitedly discuss here due to the fact that this page is VERY public... and this HAS to be kept extremely QUIET until the very LAST possible second if it works out for us both... Im not really trying to keep anything from you guys and will be happy to further discuss it w/ some of you thatd be COMPLETELY uninvolved in this and in our lives and that I know I cannot have ANY doubts w/ that this would get back to people we dont want it to get back to in even the very slightest degree - even in fully unintended, innocent slip-ups/errors... I/we JUST CANNOT take the VERY HIGH RISK of publicly discussing this & causing it to end up worsening things for both of us and potentially for others too... making thing more challenging and terrible for us than how bad it already IS for us... So, w/ those I DO feel able/ willing to discuss this w/ in ANY degree of further details at this point in time and as the potential changes (HOPEFULLY) progress, those discussions will happen ONLY in FB PMs, emails, texts and MAYBE some cell phone calls - but itd NEED to be ONLY outgoing calls from me on MY terms so I can ensure that certain ears and eyes dont catch on... As things become a MUCH MUCH more guaranteed possibility, I MAY likely start opening up in more details publicly too... but, also probably NOT until the very last second - there is A LOT of things, circumstances and specific people that make this EXTREMELY necessary for us BOTH to keep VERY SILENT about this all - till JUST JUST before/ or even not until the very MOMENT as these changes happen - IF it even works out at all - which we and the VERY select few professional persons who are/ will soon be aware of this potential possibility for the reason that they will be VERY MUCH playing an important role in helping us to hopefully make this happen - make it work out as we NEED & frankly, at this point esp., that we REALLY BOTH DESERVE too... and hopefully sooner rather than later... So, IF I or this friend/ supporter/ cheerleader/ caregiver/ etc. of mine for the few of you who DO know her and the many of you who know somewhat about her through me, DO decide to further discuss this in ANY further details w/ ANY of you, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE REMEMBER to and RESPECT my/our NEED to keep this as private as possible until/ unless we personally tell you otherwise... this would be a DRASTIC, life altering, very serious, most likely very GREAT, effective, promising, hope filled, MEGA BIG TIME HUGE CHANGE for us BOTH & IF it works out and we CAN do it, it will VERY likely be a VERY POSITIVE, healing, promising, SEVERE anxiety/ fears/ stress/ etc. REDUCING, more comfortable & relaxing and just plain FUN CHANGES!!! It is VITALLY important to keep this COMPLETELY AWAY from a few very specific people - and doing that will already be such a HUGE battle of being VERY QUIET/ SECRETIVE, hyper vigilant, watchful/ observant, cautious, constantly on guard, more stressed, walking on egg shells and being VERY hesitant/ leery about any discussions about it w/ MANY people... Im sorry if it seems it, but, its REALLY NOT that Im not trusting of MANY people... its REALLY just that public spaces JUST DONT allow for ANY privacy, they can be viewed by anyone, could end up being a higher potential that it gets spread accidentally and thus it may get back to those who we ABSOLUTELY DONT want to know ANYTHING about ANY of this and also when people have mutual friends - both online &/or in person they are pretty likely to discuss it ( BIG things others tell them in general too) even if they say things like Im not really supposed to be telling you or anyone about this BUT... and I figured that it was ok to tell you even though I was told not to tell anyone, because I KNOW I can fully trust you to keep this JUST between US... Sooooo... PLEASE, DO RESPECT this NEED we have for silence about all/ any of this and please just KNOW & TRUST that I am NOT thinking that ANY of you might actually betray this trust I have that you will all keep any/ all details and even the very VAGUE discussions related to any of this, but that we NEED to be 100% sure... and MANY people ARE chronically intentionally or unintentionally spilling/ sharing private/ secretive info. from/ about others who wanted it kept quiet accidental slips... so... yea, Im really just being as very necessarily SAFE/ Cautious as I possibly can be!! Now, w/ ALL THAT STATED... here goes on the very vague/ limitedly discussed POTENTIALLY LIFE ALTERING MEGA CHANGE for BOTH my VERY supportive friend & myself: After MUCH contemplation for quite a long while - about the past month - I decided to discuss something, a thought, a question that has just been toying around in my mind as a questionable potential possibility thatd SOLVE MANY EXTREMELY BOTHERSOME issues/ problems that weve been experiencing too too much of for too too long, that would GREATLY help MANY aspects of life for BOTH this friend of mine AND for myself... IF it were to work out, itd VERY LIKELY be the best, most ideal, safest, most comfortable, most supportive, caring, understanding - I MEAN TRUELY UNDERSTANDING, most helpful and most healing changes, environment and circumstances that could be had for BOTH of us... its very likely NOT something that will happen rapidly due to how MEGA these changes would be for us BOTH and all wed NEED to look into/ figure out, do, plan, ensure, adapt to, prepare for, set up, learn and decide upon... and itd ALL be VERY SERIOUS and VERY IMPORTANT so we REALLY dont want to rush through it...wed want to be VERY sure, as much as is possible that itd work out w/o any major problems... but... it REALLY IS EXTREMELY PROMISING sounding!!! After we discussed it late this afternoon for the 1st time, I was just growing more and more optimistic as the discussion continued on, than Ive been in a VERY long loooong time actually... and it feels BEYOND AMAZING!!! I was/ have been losing hope for SEVERAL VERY MUCH NEEDED changes, progress, healing/ recovery, getting out of chaotic/ stressful/ emotional/ hostile/ unsupportive/ Dramatic/ more harmful than helpful/ anti-productive/ manipulative/ controlling/ somewhat abusive/ harassing/ and all together toxic for me living situations... it was literally like I was being showered on by renewed hopefulness as the discussion continued on and even since/ after it stopped as Ive been contemplating it ever since more and more and have been starting w/ MY parts in this group effort of me, my friend, my Psych NP Lisa (and my RNs and social worker will get report from Lisa soon too - if they have not already received it and when I am able to get Christine Moe back on as my (PCP) PA and w/ her new overseeing Dr., then THEY all also will be involved in this group effort to look into the possibility of this working out for us and into the how to make it actually happen w/ all the legal/ official/ ins./ financial/ medical/ psych/ getting my needs met/ etc. stuff... and w/ getting us any/ all potential resources that MAY/ Will be able to help us out w/ it all... I KNOW this is VERY vague and Im very sorry it has to be this way until further notice publicly, but PLEASE TRUST ME that IF this were to actually work out, itd be very probable to be a VERY WONDERFUL thing - a game changer as they say - for ALL involved!!! So, please PLEASE keep this in prayer, good intentions/ thoughts/ juju/ vibes/ well wishes/ in your heart/ etc. - just PLEASE DO whatever it is you do or believe in to pray/ promote/ aide/ ask for/ give and receive hope, strength, comfort, understanding, love, mercy, request healing/ help, comfort, positivity/progress, encouragements, etc. when you need such things for yourself and for others... even as vague as this is...TY!
Posted on: Thu, 03 Jul 2014 04:01:38 +0000