OK, here is my Top 10 list of books as requested by Andy Raff et al. 1. Meg The Hen. This was my first read, as in an actual book that I read by myself and i remember it fondly. It was about Meg. She was a Hen. 2. Red Lorry, Yellow Lorry. This was a complicated story involving the activities of two lorries. One was red and the other was yellow. If this had been published in the USA I am fairly certain the lorries would have been red and blue and that there would have been a lot more bloodshed and use of simple words such as Uzi. 3. Biology Colouring Book I got told off at school for colouring this in all wrong. My excuse that the illustration was an accurate portrayal of the internal workings of Mr. Spock carried no weight and I had to do it all again in detention. 4. The Exciting World of Concrete. This needs no introduction and will stand the test of time as a true classic. Or just decay on a shelf and collapse after about fifty years. 5. How To Jitterbug. Seriously, go get your funk on. When you hit the dance floor strutting these moves you will get the attention of everyone in the club. This got me laid more times than I can count. Warning: you must have the ego the size of the moon to properly pull this off without retreating inside your turtle neck sweater to die in shame. 6. My Brother Steven Is Retarded 1977 (Sobol) A touching story of a brother and sister. One of them, the book informs us, is retarded. This made some of my class mates laugh more than the whole Joey Deacon - Blue Peter fiasco. The book was awful but I remember it because of one of the boys jumped on the desk and did a monkey impression which was his own interpretation of being retarded. The book was taken out of our school library. 7. Lord Of The Flies I missed the beginning of this book because I will off school with the mumps but the bit were they killed the Pig was classic. Take that you intellectual wimps! 8. Practical Muskrat Raising. A comprehensive and illustrated guide to raising your muskrats in a, one would assume, practical way. I couldnt get any muskrats so I made do with a rabbit. Unfortunately the book was critically flawed and my muskrat-stand-in died a slow, painful and rather horrific death due to these inaccuracies. 9. 50 Shades Of Grey. This is my favourite book to masturbate to and makes me wish I was a woman. There, I said it. 10. He Married A Doctor (Faith Baldwin 1943, reprinted 1972). A gripping read that had me on the edge of my seat. This romance has us following Dr Hilda Barrington, who is one of a handful of “lady doctors” known as the “hen medics”. She meets Carey who has an ulcer. Naturally, he has a problem with women doctors. Regardless, they fall in love, get married. Poor Carey doesn’t like that Dr Hilda is not there for his every need. Then Carey’s ex gets involved and things get dicey. Don’t worry, they will sort it all out by the end.
Posted on: Wed, 03 Sep 2014 12:02:34 +0000
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