OK so, the coolest ex-wife on the planet, Rachel, just brought up one of the 10,003 reasons why I am probably going to go to hell when I die. Besides the big, obvious ones. One time, in Green River, when Rachel and I had only been married maybe a year, we were still the kind of young and broke where we actually had to budget to go buy groceries, and we were at Smiths in Green River, and this couple was fighting in the aisle next to us about how she couldnt trust him with anything. And I was doing our mental math and realized that we couldnt afford the jumbo can of albacore that I had just grabbed. Naturally, turning around to put it back on the shelf behind me took too much effort, so I just shrugged and chucked it into the honeymooners cart. Boy, were we laughing when they got into the checkout line behind us and it had escalated because she was using the fact that he was lying to her about buying albacore as proof of why she couldnt trust him, and he was busy swearing on his life that he didnt put the can of albacore into the cart any more than he nailed the stripper that night he got drunk at the Astro. The moral of this story is that I had a moral quandary wondering if I am actually a high functioning sociopath for not feeling bad about it because it made us laugh so hard.
Posted on: Fri, 25 Jul 2014 20:18:38 +0000
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