ONYANGO: Njeri, your cellular gadget has intercepted some electromagnetic waves and is currently summoning your attention NJERI: Ati? ONYANGO: Simu yako kwisalia. Mtu anapigia wewe sahu NJERI: Bado niko kwa shower sweety, please receive it for me ONYANGO: Hallo…. CALLER: Njeri..eh, weko? Ne mwigithania ne ikomi na emwe ONYANGO: Your lingual is foreign to my cochlea. Please utter alphabets in a universal manner so that I can derive sense from this dialogue CALLER: Kwani Njeri yuko wapi? ONYANGO: Njeri is currently interacting with a hot shower in my master bedroom that is located at the artic section of my bungalow. She cannot commence dialogue with you as her phone is not water proof like the one I own which can receive calls even while am submerged in my marbled jaccuzi CALLER: Wewe ni nani? ONYANGO: Yawaa do you have air-time of 2,000 shillings and above? Any airtime below that amount is not enough to permit me to finish explaining to you who I am via the phone as my accolades are too numerous. But to comprehend me better, visit any booksop near you and purchase a book titled “Knowing Professor Onyango, the individual with PHDs whose number exceeds the mythical lives of a cat”..I authored it when I came back from the diaspora in the previous year CALLER: Nauliza wewe ni nani kwa Njeri? ONYANGO: I am the individual whom Njeri surrenders to her fauna in absentia of clothing….. CALLER: Ati umesema nini? ONYANGO: Yes, I am the individual who relays copulative sensations to Njeri’s pelvic areas CALLER: Auwiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii, ati umesema nini? ONYANGO: I am the individual who exposes Njeri’s lower limbs to mirror an obtuse angle, yawaaa. Mimi ndio boyfriend yake jowaa. And who are you? CALLER: Ngai fafa….. umeharibu mtoto wangu. Mimi ni mamake Njeri…. ONYANGO: Ohh, I was talking to my designated mother-in-law, yawaa. Please ooze pardon towards my manners madam and permit me to introduce myself properly…. I am the homo-sapien currently in pursuit of your daughters’ genitalias with an aim of detaining her matrimonially..
Posted on: Wed, 20 Aug 2014 07:46:27 +0000
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