OSCAR PREDICTIONS: - Matthew McConaughey Wins Literally Everything, Except For Best Supporting Actor, Which Will Be Won By The 30 Seconds To Mars Frontman. McConaughey Will Then Join 30 Seconds To Mars, And Their Next Album Will Be Sgt. Peppers For The New Generation. - 12 Years A Slave Wins Nothing, To The Delight Of A Bunch Of People Who Never Saw It In The First Place, And There Will Be No Less Than 27 Thinkpieces Reaching The Internet By 7am EST Tomorrow Morning, Which Is About The Same Time That The Industry Will Start Giving Lupita Nyongo The Well, This Was Fun, And Were Glad You Had A Good Time, But... Treatment. (Most Recently, See: Gabourey Sidibe.) - On The Red Carpet, Jennifer Lawrence Will Make A Joke About Enjoying Food, And She Will Once Again Be Proclaimed A Hero For All Women Through A Series Of .gifs And Memes Faster Than Hollywood Can Push Melissa McCarthy Into Another Funny Fat Girl Role. - Ill Miss Half, Or Stop Paying Attention After Half. That Is The Truest Guarantee Of All.
Posted on: Sun, 02 Mar 2014 19:13:59 +0000
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