Objective: To make the Creator look like a joke. Apparatus: Pastorpreneurs. Method(s): (1) Oratory is an art. Do every thing you can to get perfect in it. That way, you can swing and sway the vulnerable like pendulum. Ensure that you can twist, turn and tilt grammar until you divert attention from the subject matter of Christs teachings (Gods Kingdom) to something totally different. Financial prosperity is a wonderful replacement. (2) Now, once youve succesfully done that, voilà! The rest is simple. You are set to manoeuvre, to meander and to manipulate any scripture until it becomes consistent with your get-rich-quick scheme. Bombard the unsuspectingflock to a state of stupor with the tithing philosophy. Its a winning formula. Endeavour to inculcate the concept into every single member. It goes this way: the more they invest on you and your church, the more the god of Christendom will be willing to replenish their coffers. Holy Mantra! Depending on how many vulnerables whose brains youve skillfully picked, sieved and fried in that way, you are now a millionaire in the making. You can as well start looking up the price for tokunbo private jets. (3) Take a title. Your sheeple love titles. While looking up the list, please ensure you choose a label that sets you apart from other humans. After all, you are supposed to be seen as super-human...going forward. Choose a title that makes you stand out. You must seem to be above board, sinless, perfect. Most of all, the title must create the impression that you are immune to lifes challenges and personal mishap. Choose such titles as His Holiness, His Eminence, His Grace, Right Reverend Architect, Right Reverend (Doctor) Evangelist Mrs e.t.c. Or you may go for the other extreme: Man of God, General Overseer, Senior Prophet, Senior Apostle. These later tags are more explicit. They tell where you are on the spiritual ladder; far above the rest of us imperfect, sinful, mundane mortals. (4) If you are smart enough, you neednt be reminded that it is risky to keep raking in tithes (other peoples money) without demonstrating how spiritistically endowed you are. To stay loyal, your sheeple need to see some demonstration of power. This is the point where your proficiency in Street Magic, Mass Hypnotism, Voodooism, Confucianism or ChonChinChuaism comes in handy. Be wise. The business thrives on fear. Show them that youve gat the paaaawa. That way, no one ever dares to question your apostleship, pastorship or man-of-god-ship. There are two ways you can achieve this feat. You may choose to engage in extramarital affairs hither and thither. And when your wife eventually asks for a divorce, show your flock that you can come out of the heat unscathed. Thats power! Isnt it? Or you may choose to prophesy future events...that is, you may choose to spiritually ARRANGE future events in the lives of some of your church members. Thereafter, predict the arrangee event as if you were an innocent spokes-person spelling out Gods will for the sinner. Even if the individual eventually meets his death as a result of injuries sustained from the spiritually pre-arranged event, the bloodshed can never be traced to you. What do they know? They will blame it on God, as always. Thats the name of the game. This God must be made to look clueless. (5) In fact, with Voodooism alone, there are quite a lot of mishaps you can arrange in the lives of your sheeple. For starters, how about car accidents, plane crashes, infertility, unexplainable illnesses e.t.c. You may even kill 70, 80 or 90 of your church members in a day without it being ever traceable to you. Just think out something. Be smart. Remember: The ultimate objective is to create the impression that God is unreasonable, cruel or atleast clueless. If he wasnt, why would he let his worshippers die like chicken? Thats the doubt you need to create in the minds of everyone. You see? The mishap is not traceable to you or your wicked spirit grand masters who are manipulating events from behind the scene. You can do it! There is nothing the fallen angels whom you serve cannot do in their desperate quest to make the Creator look like a huge joke.
Posted on: Sat, 27 Sep 2014 19:36:24 +0000
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