Occa’s Log: Day one in Bali slept for 12 hours and now I feel better. Spend the morning cracking up with Kirsty telling yarns from the adventure. The Prada prezzie goes over well and with my smoothest sales stig covert ops brain in full gear, I slip in I’d like to go again next year. BOOOOOOM she says yes, how good is my wife!! My new bike is here, the “Dedly Cecil’s” Barlo tour bus. It’s a Honda PCX 150 F1. I hadn’t noticed it last night because I was that flogged. Mark turns up and the crew is all here. There’s myself Kirst, Jade and Jett, Amy and Sam. Then there’s Mick, Niccole and their boy Ryder. Sue and Mark and least but not last, Will, Rene and their daughter Dinner at KuDeTa, one of the landmark joints in Bali. We have a ball and set a new record for a bill. $41,500,000 Rp, 3 bottles of Dom Perignon 2003 Brut champers will do that. Food is amazing and so is the company, every body clicks, think this will be another good tour. Next Morning and some weary heads start coming out of their rooms, what’s on today I ask Kirst? Everyone’s hit Miss Debbie’s for a clothes shop. Duku at home for dinner. Friday and were in for a treat, Kirst has organized a Bike ride, A F*ing 40 K bike ride and its stinking hot. Our man picks the 10 of us and off we go, his name is Agus and we set off, me up front as the Guinea Pig as usual. Were screaming along, ducking and weaving and punching through gaps. Mark Cannon the big unit is sitting behind me and Michael Michael Frazeris killing himself laughing because as we punch through gaps he’s pulling his shoulders in to make himself thinner. He’s absolutely crapping himself. I then exclaim, from here forth the driver is to known as Michael Schumacher! He laughs along with us as we warp speed to our destination. Pit stop on the way to a coffee farm where we meet Pony, I ask is it because he’s hung like a donkey. We all crack up and he says “no” Pony is my real name. OK never heard that name before. We sit down and the waiter asks if we would like a Poo coffee. Mark freaks out then I explain it’s Kopi Luwak and it’s processed in a Civet Cat’s stomach, then they collect its poo and wash it off the beans then lightly roast and Wallah. He just about throws up, in his own mouth! Back on the bus and pony is riding up front, Shotgun with me. We later find out he usually greets all the buses at the coffee joint but had such a laugh with us he changed with one of the other guides to hang with us. We notice he’s wearing a Titleist cap, we ask if he likes golf, no he doesn’t is the reply. We tell him his cap is a golf brand and name him Pony Woods. I ask him if he has 9 girlfriends and he asks why. I tell him he needs to play 18 holes. He gets the joke but says not enough girlfriends; I inform him he must play the back nine. Everyone roars with laughter, as does he. Mick then says his long game must be good and I reply, but what he loves the most is putting from the rough; the bus is now in hysterics. Were on the bikes getting familiar with them, this is going to be hilarious; there are those that aren’t really cyclists by any stretch of the imagination. Before we leave I get the crew together and say, “No man or woman gets left behind”. Off we go, everyone is picking it back up again, Sam is killing it, as am I. We run behind Pony Woods for the whole ride. Mid ride we stop to look at a traditional house. As we enter Amy sees a chicken and freaks. The grandma is sitting on the landing, her teeth maroon with beetle nut; she’s half off chops. We start to do a tour and I look to see if Amy’s OK. Mark is whit and sweating. What’s wrong mate, I ask. I freaking out man; is his reply. Go back out to the road dude if you don’t feel comfortable, I tell him. We head out to where the pigs are and a butterfly attacks Amy. As we walk back to the house Mick grabs the back of her leg and Boooooom, she’s the main contender for the Autism Rap titles. Back on the bike and were over taking other tours, were dominating this thing and Pony is giving it to the other guides. 40 kilometers and we back at base. Exhausted, but we all made it. Pony and his wife are having their first child so I do a whip around for him, every one chucks in a 100 thou a couple and we present him with a 500 thou tip to get his new baby boy, already knows what he’s having, some clothes. He grabs my Name card and is going to send photos when he’s born. Such a great bloke I tell him and he tells me, No one can be unhappy around you, always happy, good out, funny and honest. Morale of the days Running in the right pack removes fear of failure. Positive encouragement can over weigh any thought of tapping out. Talk soon Minions
Posted on: Sun, 20 Oct 2013 06:00:57 +0000
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