Oct. 23rd 2013... When the doctor asked all the family to go into that room I still had hope, hope that you would fight your way out of this. I silently prayed, Lord, give us strength, guide and direct us, Thy will be done...the whole time thinking Teddy, Alexis and Tyler shouldnt be in there. As he explained to us the extent of the stroke...Theres three parts of the brain, two parts were completely gone, the third part was being pushed and destroyed by bleeding from the other two...I remember thinking, why, why does he have to have his brain destroyed, hes the smartest man Ive ever known! Silently SCREAMING, now,Johnnie, you can beat this, you just have to fight! But knowing this wasnt the case, only God could fix this and if it was His will He would be fixed...I had to ask him to repeat a lot of what hed said...my thoughts were going back to our many conversations about this very thing and how we both had agreed that if something were to happen to one of us that would leave us just a vegetable, if we were ever faced with the decision to let the other just lie there, plugged in to life support, not knowing anyone or anything, for the family to visit this body that was no longer us, no longer functioning, the one left would, without hesitation, have to say unplug. As the Dr. stood there holding the picture from the CT, plainly showing the parts of your brain that was destroyed, the small portion on the left side that was being destroyed as he spoke, as we all sat there...some not really hearing, or seeing the pictures therefore not understanding when I said no, he would not want to just be a body lying there, I promised him I wouldnt let that happen...That was the hardest thing I had ever done, until... We all went back to that small space with only curtains separating your bed from other patients. They did tell us we could wait in a small utility like room as there were to many to gather around your bed at one time. Jordan took over, organizing things. We were all going to talk to you, saying our goodbyes. Each one praying God would give us a miracle and you would open your eyes and
Posted on: Thu, 23 Oct 2014 19:47:29 +0000
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