Ok, I am going to make myself vulnerable, here, by saying what I am about to say, but I have had things happen recently that have made me aware that maybe it is time to refine some aspects of myself. I have very little brain to mouth filter. I am opinionated and outspoken, loud, blunt at times, and I tend to dominate social situations without meaning to. I have a strong personality, and I think I repel people by my nature.. I think people find me to be draining, exhausting, loud, and maybe even see me as attention-seeking because I do not rein myself in. I think it makes people avoid me. I am going to make a real effort to talk less, talk softer, to be ok with silence when in company, and to take a backseat role when in a group instead of automatically taking over the leadership position (that trait is most apparent in classes where we have groups, such as in my science lab). It isnt going to be easy, and it isnt going to be overnight. These have been habits/traits I have had for my whole life. I cannot undo 39 years worth of built up bad habit at once, but I CAN make a concentrated effort to try each and every day, and some days might even be successes. And I will try not to forget everything and relapse if things seem to be going well. If you are a part of my real world life, you can help me, if you would like to, by being honest with me and tell me when I bother you, and why, so I know where I am messing up and what I need to pay more attention to. If I can refine my appearance, and refine my education like I have been doing, I can refine my social habits. I CAN do this.. To those whom I have offended or repulsed by my way of talking or behaving, I do apologize. I am sure you can tell that it is not deliberate. I am trying to work on it now.
Posted on: Thu, 23 Oct 2014 02:49:51 +0000
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