Ok let me explain why I posted this pic of myself in a body cast in the crippled childrens home on Easter. Lately I have been having trouble with my depression getting worse. I keep thinking about all the health problems I am having with the Parkinsons shaking getting worse, the scoliosis advancement causing my shoulder blade to rub on my back ribs and the front is pushing up between my collar bones, the carpal tunnel, spinal stenosis etc. I keep wondering what I could have done to deserve all this pain and sickness. I was looking for a cute pic of myself and my sister on Easter when I was a little older, but I came across this one instead. I was smiling....and I realized that I was happy in that picture. I was happy I got an Easter basket and a bunny. I. WAS. HAPPY. even then with all of that going on I was smiling and I realized, no matter what I have never, ever let this crap break me, I might bend, I might cry, I might have a pity party, but I wont break. It isnt because I am strong or courageous, or anything like that, it is simply because I am used to the pain and so when something new happens I might have a pity party for a few minutes, but I am too stubborn to let it break me. I will win, I will keep going and I didnt do anything to deserve this, sometimes bad crap just happens. I will keep smiling because I am UGLY when I cry ;)
Posted on: Sat, 19 Apr 2014 16:15:13 +0000
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