Okay.....I think Im finally ready to talk about it.....Let me first start by saying I just got back from the doctors...I found out Ive lost 21lbs since my last visit. Now to add more to the depressed/stress state Ive been in, my Doctor has taken me off my medicine and has advised me that that my kidney has gotten worst. So now I have to be off my meds, eat healthy, wait a month and go back for another blood test. If all goes well and my levels are where they need to be then I wont have to see a specialist. Past few days my life as hit me hard...Almost 30yrs old and feel like I have nothing to show. Feel like no matter what I do its not good enough, correct, or working out. Ive been trying to save enough money to leave this box I live in but have realized, it will never happen. I want so much more for my kid but realize I cant help myself never mind another human bing. I have graduated from Medical School in 2005 yet did nothing with it only to payback all this money. I feel like a failure to myself and everyone else. Honestly wouldnt mind dropping of the face of the earth and if it wasnt for my daughter trust and believe I would have already. Im a good person or so Id like to think I am and till these past few days Ive appreciated what Ive had and took care of it. Ive smiled when inside I was hurting. I had hope and faith though deep down inside I already knew. These days all I want to do is block out the world, sleep & give up!!! Im tired!!!! Not sure how much more I can hold these tears back..So now that Ive answered everyones question of (whats wrong, are you okay) please stop asking & please dont touch me cause Im gonna breakdown. To me if I control my tears then I can still make a comeback to control my life. If I can do this then there maybe some hope left!!!!! Gn FBookiez
Posted on: Wed, 06 Nov 2013 22:43:42 +0000
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