Okay for everyone asking what happened to me this morning, listen up because I wont say it again: YES I DID GET ROBBED IN THE JUNIOR LOT. Except this time it was not the evil ducks, but a real human being. I was getting out of my car at 8:40 in the junior lot so there were only like a few people there. There was this dude (now I know his name is Dontarius. Ill give you three guesses as to what race he is) standing near a car on my way in. He asked if he could borrow my phone so he could call his mom. I had an internal monologue for a second, I thought he was pretty shady, but Ive really been working on how I stereotype people. So I decided to let him borrow it. He pretended to call someone for a second before yelling AYE BRO YO PHONE JUST GOT TOOK and running away towards the school. Personally, I would wait until Im pretty far away to gloat, but he did rob me in style which I have to commend him for. I was ready for him to run, so I started to go after him, but I had not factored all the mud that was on the ground (or my stylish shoes) into the equation. I, being the spazzing klutz that I am, fell in the mud. Just when it looked like he was going to get away, Steven Wright the skinniest white boy I know (but no offense he wins the badass award of the century), jumped in front of him and SLAMMED HIS HEAD INTO THE METAL FENCE. He then held him in a headlock until security arrived. I think its fun to note he was also talking crap in his ear like NAH DONT LIE I KNOW YOU WERE STEALING HIS PHONE JUST LIKE YOU TRIED TO STEAL MINE SHUT UP WAIT TILL SECURITY GETS HERE Security arrived and the our friend Dontarius RAN AWAY AGAIN. Security didnt even follow him because they knew who he was and they could get him. They did and I had to write a report and stuff. I also heard from the office that he wanted to contact his parole officer. Okay. But yes while I was taking a nap in the mud, a skinny white boy was saving my phone like superman. So if you know Steven, next time you see him, tell him that hes the coolest person you know because trust me he is.
Posted on: Thu, 07 Nov 2013 00:06:57 +0000
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