Okay, heres 3 things that are really bothering me: 1) although I can think about work obsessively for up to 20 hours a day (ask Janel) we may, just may, be too poor to get rich. Friends have stepped in to help with work & such but im getting really frustrated because I cant help them back fast enough. Although I have plans that are coming together, im getting impatient. Survival Mode is not good for planning and it makes even routine stuff take forever and be therefore not routine. We need a new pair of everything. Whatever. All in due time. 2) Nobody in my family, outside of my sister in CA and her husband, have ever been to any of my shows of any kind for any reason. My sister in CA saw us IN CA. Her husband said he wished wed have been around in the 80s, when he was going to shows. What a complement, I never forgot it. However, my father will leave this rock someday without ever seeing a hundred people show up to watch me do something, anything, presumably because its not sports, is in Detroit and happens late. Well, headliners play last. The clubs out here in the burbs treat us like shit. And if wearing that shit on yr head and playing like that aint sports then I dont know what to compare it to. Aint no art, thats for sure. I should change this, somehow, but im afraid he thinks music is a big joke. Hes right, its just not the kind of joke he thinks it is. 3) I would like people to stop comparing mood disorders to roller coasters because of the severity of ups and downs. I dont have a better analogy, but thats never been right to me. On a roller coaster your stomach knots and drops halfway up or down the hill, in anticipation of the crests and troughs that are coming faster than you think they are, until being slammed back up or down - so the most anxious part is climbing the hill or dropping to the bottom. Okay, maybe it is a good example after all. Maybe I just dont like roller coasters.
Posted on: Wed, 13 Aug 2014 08:59:35 +0000
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