Okay, our Fundly page is up and donating. For some reason they expect us to give YOU something for sponsoring US. What kind of bizarro world do we live in? Anywho, here is the gifting breakdown for helping us, help others: $10 – Really? Come on now! You spend that on a pad of Post-its! At least you could turn some of your more charity driven friends onto our Facebook page. I have spent a week being the change I want to see in the world…now its your turn. $25 – Good Vibes We will send you amazingly good vibes anywhere in the world! As everyone knows, vibes are known to imbue nebulous good things on people. And we have them in spades. We are known in the world of good vibes as “vibralicious.” We will send you the freshest, goodest vibes on the market today. (International rates may apply.) $50 – Good Karma Yes, you read that right! We will send you Good Karma that can be transferred into Karma Points (kp). In addition, we will send you a real life email explaining the Karma Rate of Exchange. As an example, let’s say as a child you shot a rubber band at a cat. You would need 10kp to erase that Bad Karma from your record. How about the time you licked that coconut-encrusted cashew to see if you liked it, didn’t, and put it back in the nut bowl? 30kp right there to clean the slate. Or how about when you set that police car on fire after the NBA finals? 10kp (surprisingly, the same as shooting a rubber band at the cat). I have the entire Karmic Rate of Exchange mapped out and, for a mere $50 we will send it to you. Current conversion rate: 1kp = $1. $75 – Hug All the above PLUS a warm, heartfelt hug. Given by either Greg or Gary. Your choice. Be warned: Greg is grabby and Gary tends to linger. If you want to be sandwiched, up the ante to $80. $100 – One-of-a-Kind Wanderlust t-shirt What the hell, let’s give you something tangible. All of the above PLUS we will send you one of our officially cool, and soon to be the hottest item at Milan’s Fashion Week…the Wanderlust – Hollywood to Bollywood t-shirt. These soon-to-be collector items are made of some sort of fabric and made either in, or outside of, the good ol’ USA. There is even a slight chance we might sign them. Just donate and tell us your size, but we’re assuming XL. Over $100 – Bonus Round! Greg will “high-five” you. What?! Shut up! No, really! Well, you may or may not know that Greg does not “high-five.” He is fundamentally against a celebratory gesture that reminds one of, as Winston Churchill once said, “Hitler left hanging.” But because of your largess, and because he knows that C-notes don’t come easy, he will throw away his morals and ethics and perform the repugnant “high-five” with you. (Proof of morals and ethics on file in the main office.) Oh, you also get the other stuff, too. High-five meeting place and time TBD. $500 – Monkey Bite All the other stuff AND you can give Gary a hickey. He doesn’t know I’m offering this, but hey, he knew traveling with me meant that he would have to make some sacrifices. Gary will have had all his shots, because we’re going to India for God’s sake, but still no guarantees that he is completely disease-free. Time and place of hickey TBD. $5000 – The Full Monty Okay, Mr., Mrs., Ms., Miss, and/or Master Big Spender, we get it…you are flush with cash and don’t care who knows it. Well, don’t expect us to be impressed…grateful, yes…impressed, no. You want to pony up the cost of this adventure, then you are now our sponsor and we are your beeotches. Good things will rain down on you like a parrot hitting a ceiling fan! We will plaster your name/logo/business/website/dating profile/Andy Warhol portrait/whatever all over our rickshaw. We will slip in your name and business information into EVERY conversation we have regarding the Rickshaw Run. We will whore ourselves at every possible turn to hold you, and your kind, up for the world to see what a true Saint looks like. AND you don’t have to do the hickey thing. So, what are you waiting for? Two great charities, one great sponsorship opportunity. Music swells, eyes tear up and we all have a story we can tell at our anonymous meeting where everyone wins! Except us. We still gotta drive the rickshaw.
Posted on: Fri, 11 Jul 2014 19:21:55 +0000
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