Okay, this is not a rant nor a vent. However, it is not fun material. Quite recently I was again reminded why my own personal boundaries do need to be much tighter and healthier. This is of itself not a bad thing. I am a very caring person. I am willing to help others. However, I do struggle with codependency and the enabling of people to act out on me when they turn to me for "help". Quite recently this has happened yet again and this is about two separate males. One was a "friend" on FB and the other was a member of family. in both situations, the neediness of the two men pretty much became the dominant issue. In both situations I apparently am at fault for not pandering to their egotistical shit while both in their own ways presented to me similar issues. With one, while his own life is always about how he is persecuted by everyone including the mostly automated system fb is. yet he brought me his issues and in my typical blunt and honest manner, responded. and then the criticism of me began and of course always couched in language that was passive. and i am supposed to "sweet talk" someone who will not attend to the issues that lasted month after month with no change? no friggin way. yet he kept bringing me these issues and when i brought forth that he was 50% of why these issues were continuing, he would tell me "Of course, of course", and then tell me he was sorry, and yet do nothing to correct what was making him feel miserable. and then after he dropped me and my husband on fb and blocked us, i learned that without using our names, stated he dropped two people for "feeding" on him without his permission. hogwash! now this person does have documented, severe mental health issues so go figure. the other male? another egotistical overgrown kid who wants his way and at any cost, including the cost of his personal, physical safety who repeatedly over the last 5 years, we have been there repeatedly when this arrogant kid is in crisis. and this has always involved dealing with his medical issues, his lapsed medical insurance, his very real lack of basic self care, yet does he go off the deep end when i dare to bluntly speak up about how he has to take care of himself and when in our home, show care for us in the most basic and in terms of being caring, profoundly earthy manners. Yet i am the abrasive, tactless, unkind one. Hogwash. It seems that being bluntly honest is abrasive? fine. then i am indeed a potent dose of abrasive cunt! I think i will make a button of that statement and wear it proudly.
Posted on: Tue, 20 Aug 2013 23:55:20 +0000
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