On the Thursday before my mother passed away I had gone to see - TopicsExpress

Richard Figlewski

On the Thursday before my mother passed away I had gone to see her. It was a good day for her, awake and alert. After a few moments, and brief hello’s she said to me “ I always love when you come see me Richard. Feeling a little full of myself I said thank you mom. She continued” I can always tell it’s you because your head is so big coming through the door” It took me a day or two to determine that it was because her sight was going. Or she just knew my head needed a little deflation. Either way she had a smile when she spoke, the smile that was my mother. On Saturday as we sat with mother the aides and Nurses would stop in and make sure that she was fine, and if the group that had collected needed anything. More than once the y left the room with a small tear in their eye, and a kind word left for us. One of the aides kindly spoke to us,” your mother was always kind, interested in our lives, treating us with kindness and respect. Even when she was sick she never complained. She was the one of the reasons that many of us came to work. To make sure she was ok. She always spoke lovingly and proudly of her family. She was a good woman.” I paraphrase some but that was basically it. That was my mother. Loving kind and open to share what she was and what she had. Always with a kind smile and a soft voice. My mother lives on in so many ways. One of the ways I see her today, which I had not noticed until the conversation with the nurse’s aide, is in her grandchildren. It’s in the way they look into people’s faces when they say hello. How they shake someone’s hand, how there is a kindness and openness to them. That they meet people with love, are interested in them, and are comfortable with who they are. These lessons they learned through their parents who learned them from my mom and dad. My mom wa so very very proud of her grandchildren and great-grandchildren. In the course of our visit Mother we talked about weddings soon past and soon to come, Kates and Corinnes. So I was surprised when she asked “ Richard, where’s Dad? “ Not the first time she asked but for me it would be the last. “Heaven “ I answered. “ahh no “ she quietly breathed and we continued our talk. In a few minutes she looked at me and said “ I want to go see Dad” A tear in both our eyes. My mother and Father kept bird feeders in the yard with their flower gardens. Roses, and turtle doves, being their favorites. They loved turtle doves because they mated for life and had a beautiful voice. One thing my father had, my mom not so much. On Sunday morning around 6am I sat at the patio of the place I live. I had slept badly, emotionally spent, spiritually drained, physically shot. I sat ther thinking how lousy all this was. How tough this life would be without mom. How would everyone go on, how would we stay together, all the things I would miss with her. Deep in my self-pity. AS I sat drinking coffee and smoking a cigarette, a lone turtle dove flew into the garged no more than 5 feet away and seemed to sit and look at me. It took me afew but I finally started to smile, then to laugh, and finally to cry. “you ole biddy I said to the bird, Ok then where is Dad,” As I said this i heard the distinct coo of a dove and looked into the tree on my right. There was her mate. She flew to the branch and they sat together for a moment and returned to the garden. They sat with me for a moment and looked and cooed. They then flew away into the woods in the back. My mother had gone to see Dad. We are all good and decent people. And we are redeemed, over and over and over again—just by our uncompromising insistence on living and breathing and loving in this world. By our continued willingness to reach our arms, meeting others exactly where they stand, and making a wide open offering of our frail and fierce hearts. This was part of a lesson brought to me on Monday this week. My Mother was a song of redemption, living fully her arms open with love and willingness for all to see. I learned the most important gift from my mother. To look for the miracles in every day. My mother was a miracle. So in her memory and with her love I ask one thing from you to keep in your hearts, look for the miracle, keep looking for the turtle doves. Peace and blessings from our family to you and yours.

Posted on: Fri, 14 Jun 2013 17:14:18 +0000

On the Thursday before my mother passed away I had gone to see - TopicsExpress

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