On the outside my life may seem Normal Or Calm and Put together but on the inside theres this raging war with self Acceptance and Self image. I got two piercings in under the sixth week mark of my first one being fully healed.. wanna know why?! Cuz my life sucks and this is a more positive way to inflict pain upon my body rather than relapse on the razor, the old vice I would turn to in times of hardship. Ive made mistakes within the past year that Im not fond of or very proud of including shit thats going on with my life up to date, but i try to dust myself off and look ahead to continue making the drastic changes I have been making since April of this year Im by no means perfect. I burnt bridges with people I would put my life on the line for! I suffered for almost two years on substance abuse, and lost people that meant everything to me. At this point the way I feel, How could anybody love me when I cant possibly love myself??? Sometimes I just want reassurance to know that Im not as much of a piece of shit as I feel I am and to have someone take my hand and say Im gonna sit here thru the ugly inside of you and hold your hand thru this, your better than this! My life is back to rock bottom and Ive burnt bridges Im pretty sure I will never be able to cross again, no apologies in the world will take back all the hurt Ive caused and as much as I wish I could take it back and turn back time all thats left to do is take the next step forward Im a work in progress everyday is a battle in my brain Im a perfect disaster who refuses to give up on herself
Posted on: Sat, 15 Nov 2014 22:38:13 +0000
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