One of the greatest chapters to any book ever written, and it could only have been written by a genius like D.N.A.... The major problem [with time travel] is quite simply one of grammar, and the main work to consult in this matter is Dr Dan Streetmentioners Time Travellers Handbook of 1001 Tense Formations... The Restaurant at the End of the Universe is one of the most extraordinary ventures in the entire history of catering. It is built on the fragmented remains of an eventually ruined planet which is (wioll haven be) enclosed in a vast time bubble and projected forward in time to the precise moment of the End of the Universe. This is, many would say, impossible. In it, guests take (willan on-take) their places at table and eat (willan on-eat) sumptuous meals whilst watching (willing watchen) the whole of creation explode around them. This is, many would say, equally impossible. You can arrive (mayan arivan on-when) for any sitting you like without prior (late fore-when) reservation because you can book retrospectively, as it were when you return to your own time. (you can have on-book haventa forewhen presooning returningwenta retrohome.) This is, many would now insist, absolutely impossible. At the Restaurant you can meet and dine with (mayan meetan con with dinan on when) a fascinating cross-section of the entire population of space and time. This, it can be explained patiently, is also impossible. You can visit it as many times as you like (mayan on-visit re- onvisiting ... and so on - for further tense-corrections consult Dr Streetmentioners book) and be sure of never meeting yourself, because of the embarrassment this usually causes. This, even if the rest were true, which it isnt, is patently impossible, say the doubters.All you have to do is deposit one penny in a savings account in your own era, and when you arrive at the End of Time the operation of compound interest means that the fabulous cost of your meal has been paid for. This, many claim, is not merely impossible but clearly insane, which is why the advertising executives of the star system of Bastablon came up with this slogan: If youve done six impossible things this morning, why not round it off with breakfast at Milliways, the Restaurant at the End of the Universe? -The Restaurant at the End of the Universe, Douglas Adams
Posted on: Tue, 22 Jul 2014 00:39:41 +0000
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