One of the greatest opposition to our ability to advance and succeed is our stereotypes and fixated ideologies. Many of us hold views and opinions about life matters that are wrong, no longer the case and archaic. We hold on to opinions and ways of doing things that no longer deliver expected results, yet we are not willing to rethink or review these theories. Not only do we hold on to them, we impose them on our subjects and dependents. The world is extremely dynamic and things are changing daily and pretty fast too. A standard operating procedure or process at the beginning of a year may by mid-year become obsolete as a new and improved approach could have been introduced, hence a need to learn the new methods or approach and apply. Holding on to certain ideologies and presumptions and imposing on others can actually frustrate or truncate our expectations and desired results if these ideologies no longer work. A mature man wouldnt hold on to theories and ideas that are passing away, a mature man is a man in tune with the current, the trending and the latest. A mature man is consistently reviewing what he knows, what he believes, how it works and the results he gets. A mature man is ever willing to listen to the views and opinion of others, he appreciates superior arguments, he doesnt take it personal when he is wrong, he quickly admits and corrects himself. A mature man is ever willing to drop old and archaic ways to embrace modern, trending and new ways of doing things. A mature man is sure that true performance is all in the result and not attempt or effort. Dear friend, what do you know? How do you see life? What are the views you held in high esteem a few years ago but youve let go today for superior views? How were things done in time past, how are they done today? Regarding your marriage, your relationships, friendships, business, career, fatherhood, citizenship and self-concept what are your theories now different from yesterday? If I must say this, the way we were raised as kids in the seventies and eighties is very different from how kids are raised these days. If you raise any child perhaps the same way you were raised as a child you could be arrested for child abuse. Things are changing every day and the way forward is to recognize, acknowledge and manage the change effectively to your advantage. This is not about conforming, its more about adapting, you must learn to adapt to our ever changing environment and world. You must develop new socio-cultural survival instincts to enjoy your seasons. Dan was a man who held on very strongly to that view that education is the key to success. He believes education is the key to dignity, value, respect, progress and money. In his opinion without education, your life is nothing. This view he held on to for so long and believed in it so much to the end that in raising his children, it was a primary drive. Dan invested so much energy, money and time in seeing to it that his three children get sound education. His three kids; two girls and a boy, he raised with that thinking and mindset. As a lecturer, education was his world, for him every human being must be educated and it was unacceptable for any of his kids to disdain education or not do well at school. This was the main reason for the frequent fracas between him and his only son; his second child David. His two daughters were very brilliant and always topped their classes in primary school. Every prize giving day, his daughters were the super stars; carting away most prizes in their set. His son however was usually nowhere close to the top of the class and he never got a single prize. This makes his father worried and angry at him. Dan couldnt understand why his daughters were doing so well but his only son wouldnt just take his academic work seriously. His son David wasnt a dullard; nope, he was quite intelligent and creative. He was charismatic and entertaining too. He was the life of the family, he made everyone laugh, he was the creative one; he was the entertaining one. But his father didnt like him that much, he saw him as a let-down, a disappointment and an embarrassment. Why wouldnt he just be like his sisters academically? And Dan wouldnt spare him every time the opportunity arose, he rubbed it in. The daughters got away with most things his son wouldnt dare try. They got all the ice creams, movie tickets, extra chicken, extra meat and all that. David the son cant be in charge of the TV remote control, its what the sisters wanted to watch, where they wanted to go, what they wanted to eat and how they wanted things to be. David the son was relegated and discriminated against simply because he wasnt as bright as the sisters academically. The brawl between Dan and his son David became worse when the sisters both secured admission into the University without stress; they passed their SSCE and JAMB exams in flying colours and got their admission straight, studying medicine and law respectively. David however kept struggling to have his complete papers and for about three years was at home. After the third year however, he decided to go to a polytechnic through a pre ND program to study business administration. At this point he and his father couldnt see eye to eye as the father considered it an embarrassment his son ended up in a polytechnic. He was too embarrassed to tell his friends and colleagues about his son but was quick to talk about his daughters and introduce them to everyone. David, on the account of this didnt like his father that much, animosity had set in and he stopped relating with everyone. He became quiet and conservative. He stopped interacting with everyone; he kept so much to himself and only would gist with his mother occasionally. Immediately after his National Diploma which he concluded with a lower credit, he announced to everyone he was no longer interested in schooling that he would rather be a business man. Dan his father nearly passed out. He cursed and threatened and told him its either he returns to school or ceases to be his son. The quarrels became so bad that David eventually moved out of the house and began to live with a friend in another part of town. David started his apprenticeship with a man who was into the sales of phones and computers. David liked gadgets so he was very interested in the trade. Within three years he had become a guru in the trade; he knew all the tricks of the business and knew how to make all the money. In another two years he had his own business set up, started importing phones, selling gadgets, computers and accessories. He was so good, diligent and hardworking, in a short while he had built his house and an event center. He had opened more than ten branches and sales outlet and his business was really growing. Meanwhile his sisters were done with school as well but were seriously struggling financially. They both had secured employment one at a private hospital and the other in a law firm but their salaries were miserable they could hardly make ends meet. David, eventually became the superstar. His father Dan was now retired, his mums business had packed up and everyone in the family now relied on David for everything they needed, from accommodation, to clothing to feeding and every other need. He subsequently built a house for his parents, bought them cars, and paid money regularly into all their accounts. David eventually saved the day. My dear friend, maturity is the ability to see the gift and talent in everyone and respect it. You dont discriminate and judge others based on your personal views and opinions, you may be wrong. Open your mind, see the good in everyone, appreciate people for who they are; their abilities, capacities and strengths, dont discriminate, be mature. Would you be a mature man today? By Muyiwa Afolabi
Posted on: Mon, 29 Sep 2014 05:06:22 +0000
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