One of the more difficult effects that can happen as a result of having been a target of abuse and/or neglect, especially during childhood, is an emotional reaction to any type of perceived authority or leadership, or expertise. Also, toward anyone who one perceives to have claimed leadership, authority, or expertise, whether they actually have done so or not. So a person may be reactive, defensive, suspicious, or oppositional toward anyone who has a job thats in some type of authority or leadership position, or toward anyone who relates information, experience, or observation either in an instructional capacity, or simply in an open format (like a book or a blog). If the person has developed Personality Disorder traits, (especially cluster B), they may be reactive toward not only authority, instruction, or expertise, but also toward those who seem to have self-confidence or a lack of fear and anxiety. (Especially toward those whom they envy, or whom they want to have status OVER.). An affected person (with or without PD) may exaggerate a persons actual authority, the reach of their authority, and their connections. They may misinterpret a confident, well-mannered and/or humble person who is simply doing something or relating about something to be a Control Freak or a Know-It-All. They may misinterpret truly innocuous statements and suggestions as orders, judgments, or criticisms. (For example You could probably drive to Maryland instead of flying, if you want sounds like You SHOULD drive instead of flying, its the smarter thing to do. Or, Hey would you please pick up a gallon of milk if youre going to the store? Were out. sounds like Go get me a gallon of milk, NOW, since YOURE the one who drinks it all.) Likely during their youth, ones perception of anyone who seemed to have some type of title, expertise, or authority, even in a small capacity, became skewed because of many experiences with people who had authority, abusing it instead of using it properly. Also, those who were not directly abusive but did carry some type of authority (or seemed to) did not protect or help, but perhaps criticized the abuse or neglect target instead. They were also probably exposed to older people who already had authority issues, and so taught them either directly or by modeling to distrust, rebel, or despise others in any type of authority position, or even those who have healthy boundaries and self-confidence. One may end up believing that any and all people in any type of authority or leadership role is trying to control others, manipulative, or abusing their authority or leadership position (even if they dont actually have any authority.) If one has developed PD traits, they may also single out certain individuals in authority or expertise positions to elevate dramatically, making them leaders over all others, and then associating themselves with the person. (Therefore giving themselves authority or expertise over others via association with their chosen personal guru. This is obvious in religious circles, but people will do the same thing, perhaps even moreso, in secular, non-religious circles. both with famous and non-famous people they know of~ e.g. John Lennon said such and such, therefore its absolute gospel, and hes above you, so youre mistaken, inadequate, or wrong. ) (ironically John Lennon would protest being used as an icon in such a way, and yet people do it all the time.) Healing ones boundaries can go a long way toward healing ones perception of authority positions, and other people in general.
Posted on: Wed, 30 Jul 2014 23:40:24 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015