One of the reasons why I married my husband. Not to put my husband business out there. But if it can help some knuckle head I will. When I met my husband one of my criteria was no children, @ the time I felt I could make that demand seeing how I did not have any children. Well as the saying goes if you play with fire you can get burned. That info was not giving to me in the beginning oh well dont judge him right here yet ok. Over time as I was getting to know him with no real intentions either way I was single and ok with that. But I enjoyed his company and character and he was fun as something and someone on the things to do list. Later I found out that he had not one but three children as that is what was told to me. He also explained to me that only one of the three was his biological child. But he took care of the other two and was their father too because he was all they knew or had. Whoa wait a minute now are you kidding Oh boy to much for me. Well at least there was only one mother to deal with and she was cool. As we grew closer in feelings and respect he explained the situation and by now I was hit by that fire I told you about. I didnt walk right away and ended up rethinking everything I weigh the good and not so good and considered what I was willing to do and just how was he going to continue to do what he had been doing long before I came along. The moral of my story is this: As soon as you find out about your deal breakers in relationships has happened and it does not matter when you do you have options you can stay and deal with it or leave. It should be that simple but if you stay and try to make it work you got to do the work. (Honorably and sincerely). Yes this will take the both of you. Now I am not talking about notorious, blatant, devastating, life changing lies and misconceptions of really important information. It is a hard come back for most. And oh yea about that fire I was talking about my mother use to say never be with anyone that you cannot see a future with or as a husband because you could end up falling in love like we are known to do. We make choices we live to regret, we get pregnant, we become addicted to others. No judgment here! And we get stuck where we should not get stuck and be with who we should not be with. The Good News is as you get older the process of elimination gets easier and less time consuming once again thats up to you too. Just another reason to keep your treasures under lock and key until further notice. Ok back to me anyways as I witnessed my husband obligate himself to children that were not his and he was good @ it too. I am now thinking hey if he will do this for children that are not even his for a woman he once had puppy love for. WOW! he would be a perfect father to our children and stand by me. So we got married had my son and I was right! But I had to do my part and help him help me by getting out of the way and let him do his thing. If I had concerns we talked about it and sometimes it was not in my favor, but one thing for sure our son was taking care of and I am a grown woman and his mother. I can hang but our son well thats a different story and he is young and I say I love him so I do what a mother should do make sure he is stable and happy as much as possible. His father is flawed just like me. And I did choose him to be his father Ladies be very careful with causing hell for a man with children that are not yours. Most of the time you knew going in that this was the case and you moved forward. Stop acting like it happened after ya got together and it was a secret unless it was. but you had options and you stayed. And whatever you chose be honorable and sincere. If he is able and willing let him do his obligation without you laying unnecessary heavy weight on him. Stop acting jealous of the 2 year old and mother. I know some mothers are a trip. I have words about her too, but for now I am talking to you. You made your bed now put some beautiful sheets and comforter on it so you can have a goodnight sleep. And have a happy marriage between you and the man you chose with all his children and yours.
Posted on: Tue, 08 Jul 2014 01:28:18 +0000