One thing Ive learnt about grief is that if youre not feeling it yourself its easy to feel like things will just normalise for the person feeling it once the initial loss has passed... Ive been beating myself up for feeling depressed that Ive been trying to push myself to get back to normal too soon. There is no back to normal now and Ive decided to let myself take a step back and feel the pain and grief I need to instead of pushing myself to go about every day life as if everything is ok. I want to be excited about life and living again and I feel the only way to do this is to feel this for everything it is and stop pushing it down deeper and deeper. So to all my friends and family who have been my support, If I dont seem myself sometimes just know that Im having a down day and Ive decided that its ok to do that when I need to. If I dont wanna talk, Im not being rude, I just need time. If I start crying because I dropped something or stubbed my toe, Im probably not really crying because I dropped something or stubbed my toe. Ill find my happy again, but it will take as long as it takes and no sooner and Im ok with that now.
Posted on: Sun, 08 Jun 2014 15:20:02 +0000
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