Originally posted on November 21, 2013 So, I was about to take a bath. I went to grab a towel off the top of the clean pile of laundry I seem to always have on my bedroom floor (Don’t you heifers judge me on how I keep my house. Or do. Whatevs.). As I’m bending down, I catch a wiff of little kid. You know, that dirt and cookie smell they always seem to have? No, is that just my kids? Anyway, that’s when I see a trail of the little-Little’s dirty clothes going through my clean laundry like she was plannin’ on needin’ a way back out of there. If so, that was a pretty smart move on her part because that pile of laundry is about as tall as she is. I got so mad about the dirty clothes that I stormed out into the music room where the little-Little was lounging around with her dada, but I forgot about the clothes when I saw all the kid crapola in the one room I like to keep company ready only no one hardly ever sees that room because everyone we know here rolls right into our house through the back door right where they can see the sister pile of dirty laundry I keep in the utility room like it’s pullin’ guard duty. But still. I want one room where I can ‘tend like I have a well kept home. I started stompin’ through the music room, pointing at things. “Put up your coat! Pick up that calculator! Who was eating a pear in here? Why is there an empty Mountain Dew bottle on my damn vintage sofa? Put up these poker chips!” I stopped yelling because my mister was laughing at me. Laughing hard. Laughing like he didn’t give one flying flip if I got madder than I already was which is a pretty dangerous place to go. My hands went right to my hips and I was all, “What’re you laughing at, bucko?” And he says to me, he says, “Nothing. You’re just standing there. With your hands on your hips. Yelling about calculators. And you’re naked.” All I could say in response was, “Well, I got distracted by your shitass kids on my way to take a bath.” I took the teal pleather jacket from the little-Little’s hands, covered my lady parts, and walked back to my bedroom with the complete understanding that I had both literally and figuratively shown my ass.
Posted on: Thu, 30 Oct 2014 18:01:55 +0000
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