Our Week: Continuing the Roller Coaster - Saturday Joey came - TopicsExpress

Our Week: Continuing the Roller Coaster - Saturday Joey came home after 5 days on fever protocol He had a great night, slept well, and was really bubbly all day Sunday. Sunday Riley, TJ & I left for my Youth Pastors Conference: Time Out To be honest; I struggled with going this year, there was the obvious I really dont want to be there without Doretta, but also the I dont want to abandon Joey The realization is that I also have 2 other boys that need to know they are valuable, and that I am willing to take the time for them. Spending 3 days at Great Wolf Lodge was amazing for them, and was filled with ups & downs for me. Sunday night after our session a large group of us go to Boston Pizza and hang out, catch up, and are encouraged just being with each other. Most years we had to choose which one of us would go, and who would stay with the boys, last year was one of the first times Doretta & I both got to go, so going alone this year was hard, so I took the boys with me. We sat and talked, and as the group dwindled I was left with 2 couples who have shared so much of this journey, and our ministry journey together for quite awhile, and 2 couples who were also missing Doretta. It was a great time of healing for all of us, one of the things I am becoming more and more aware of is the we groups that are missing Doretta, and seeing even more the impact of her life. I miss Doretta, the boys miss Doretta, our families miss Doretta, but we as a church miss Doretta, we as a community, we as pastors, district leaders continue to miss Doretta... and the list goes on. Monday was more helpful, healing conversations, dreaming and re-branding an event that is so close to my heart, and was such a huge part of Dorettas & my ministry. Meal time conversations with more incredible friends, hanging in the hot tub, where Im convinced each year we find new ways to change the world as youth pastors. Monday night was tough, each year the Monday session has meant so much to us as a couple, and as a ministry team, dreams and visions are birthed, and encouragement always comes. I felt like I didnt want to dream anymore, my dreams will never happen the way I want them to now, because regardless of what comes in the future, it will come without Doretta. As I was being prayed for I was encouraged that Tomorrow is not Today we are given today, and thats all that we are given, I will dream again, but for now my focus is each day. Tuesday morning confirmed this thought as the nutshell I got out of the sessions is: Be obedient to your present, let God redeem your past, and hold your future. Less than an hour later I got a call that Joey was heading back to the hospital, this time likely for a 2 week stay based on rebound fever protocol. I didnt panic (God moment) instead, went back to the room packed up in case we had to get out, and prayed with the boys for Joey. He was admitted, but I was told I didnt have to rush home, so I didnt. I enjoyed the afternoon with the boys, and caught one last session, during which I was able to tell the room full of pastor how thankful I was for their support. I am blessed and privileged to call myself a Pastor and Leader in the Western Ontario District of The Pentecostal Assemblies Of Canada. To be surrounded with such love, support, prayer, to have countless friends and partners in ministry pour into my life this week, reaffirms everything I know and love about this family. I have tremndous respect, love and honour for my friends in ministry, they know how to care for us deeply, and have shown it in many ways. Even when they are behind the scenes, knowing they are there is HUGE! I got to the hospital at 9pm, and Joey was doing great, I stayed with him Tues & Wed night, and came home yesterday. For the first time in a long time, and certainly since before Oct. I came home to an empty house, the boys were in school, Joey was with Grandma, and I was alone with my thoughts and my grief, in our home. The pain came quick and intense, so I spent a good chunk of time in my grief room (which was our bedroom). Praying, crying, and letting grief hit. I was able to get on with the day, but fear of leaving Joey, even though I know hes in great hands with Grandma, was there, I had not woke up in my own bed with Joey in the hospital, I was either with him, or down the street every other night he was there. As I got ready to go to youth last night a knock on the door from a stranger with a card and a gift came. The cards front read Be Encouraged the inside spoke of Gods faithfulness, and ability to continue to be with us, exactly what I needed to hear. I lead at youth, and the topic of the video series we are in was Healing. I didnt have time to look over the topic prior to the night, but the last question was How do we make sense of the times God doesnt heal? Clearly this is a close to home question, and the only answer I could come to in sharing is that we dont. We dont make sense of it, we dont allow the whys to rule our life, we trust, we have faith that God knows, He holds the universe together, and Doretta didnt slip through his fingers, he didnt miss His moment. We celebrate the progress Joey is making, and continue to pray his total healing, restoration, and life to be full, but we trust that God has a plan, that Doretta is dancing and praising in His presence, and that we have a future, certainly not the future we wanted, but there is a future for me, for my boys, and for you who have followed along with us. God Has A Future For You. Thanks for making to the end of this massive update, Ill try to be more frequent :D Joeys next update will come later today, more good news! Much Love; Scott & The Boys