Our new VENETIAN CARNIVAL show (opens Beverley Early Music Festival May 23) has a brand new script by the fabulous Timothy Knapman. Here are some of my favourite bits of his previous work for us: The composer Gesualdo of Napoli Was married, but not very happily. ------- Come gather round people and nobody scoff Lucio’s romance has entered a trough. Isabella has left him, so please, your hats doff “I must end it all!” says he, with a cough, And looks for a clifftop to toss himself off. ------- When, once upon a time, a British king Decided he was cath’lic – silly thing! – We told him, “James II, that’s just wrong!” And replaced him with the subjects of this song In that uniquely British convolution That hist’ry calls “the Glorious Revolution”. Worried a new king would cost too much, We economised by going Dutch And got William and Mary, who - they say - Though married, were, in fact, both gay. So naturally, they reigned in British hearts Because they didn’t care for foreign parts. ------- And in this sceptred isle of chavs and plebs We shop, and booze, and tweet about celebs. If Arthur lived today, we’d seek out his dysfunctions – Even if concealed by superinjunctions. So thank God for Purcell’s music, which redeems This oldest of all our national dreams. So please forgive us, though you’ve seen us ham a lot: Just be grateful that it wasn’t Spamalot. Or, worse than that, an episode of Glee Featuring the Knights Who Must Say “Ni!” ------- The next I think you’ll find entrancing Is our version of “Come Dancing”. Pantaloon (that pompous blimp), A gondolier (whose pole is limp) And his mate, will now essay Father Giondon’s ballet. (Though one of these clapped out carousers Cannot quite control his trousers And another loudly mourns That he’s a martyr to his corns.) Less corps de ballet, more cor blimey, The whole thing may turn out quite slimy For our terpsichoreans are Accompanied on this man’s catarrh. And so we call this – don’t rebuke us – “The hills are alive with the sound of mucus”. timothyknapman.co.uk
Posted on: Fri, 02 May 2014 11:08:38 +0000
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